


The Conversation

by emryskynobi



Series: The Multi-Verse of STAR WARS [1]
Category: Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Anakin's canon possessiveness, F/M, Gen, M/M, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Other, Other Characters Pending as the stories progress, Other Ships not taged as they are minor in the story though major in canon, please do not post to another site
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-13
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:00:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 25,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23122882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emryskynobi/pseuds/emryskynobi
Summary: Summary:  Anakin has a very important question to ask of a certain Jedi Master…once his son is out of the way that is.Originally posted on fanfiction.net in 2006.Pairing Obi-Wan/AnakinIs connected to the "Deconstructing Kenobi and Skywalker" series.
Relationships: Chewbacca & Han Solo, Leia Organa/Han Solo, Luke Skywalker & Han Solo, Mara Jade/Luke Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi & Anakin Skywalker, Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker
Series: The Multi-Verse of STAR WARS [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1662073
Comments: 28
Kudos: 62
Collections: SW Especially Satisfying Stories





	1. The Conversation: Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own them. George Lucas created this world which Disney now owns.

Yoda watched for a few minutes more then turned and hobbled away. Obi-Wan made a move to join him and he shook his head, negating that choice. “To Skywalker, you should speak. Many things to discuss have you before peace both of you shall find.”

“Yes, Master Yoda,” Obi-Wan murmured, unsure and a little frightened to be left alone with Anakin – a feeling he had not been expecting at all. It wasn't that he was afraid of him, not even after what happened on the Death Star. There was just a feeling inside of him that he couldn't overlook. He'd guided him out of the Force, knowing that he deserved the chance to see that he'd been successful. That he had done what he had been born to do but...he couldn't put to words what he was feeling as he stood once more in his friend's presence, feeling both the light and dark of him merge into a peaceful, cohesive whole.

“To you both, an apology I owe. But what words you have for him, now should be spoken,” Yoda counseled him, smiling a little sheepishly before fading away.

Anakin watched his son but listened to them with half an ear. Hearing Obi-Wan approach after Yoda departed, he faced the older man and took in his appearance. “Have you always looked like this?”

“Every single one of these white hairs has been honestly earned watching over your son – and worrying over you,” he replied calmly.

"Do you have to look like that? Is that why, when I returned to the light, I look young?” he idly asked.

“We appear as we wish to. Or, in your case, what you have been returned to,” he wryly added, his teasing look at the younger man full of affection he could not hide.

“You wish to look like a crazy old hermit?” he teased, his hand making an aborted move towards him.

Obi-Wan smiled, “Your son knows me best in this form.”

"So, it’s for my son that you choose to hide yourself away from the world. Master, when will you ever let them see the real you?”

“This is the real me,” he gently reminded him. “I am going to rest in the Force. My work among the living – specifically that which relates to your son – has not yet finished.”

“Did you mean it?”

The question stopped Obi-Wan cold.

He froze in mid step, his heart painfully tightening as he stood there, unable to move. It could mean anything, this one simple question he asked, but Obi-Wan knew that it related to but one thing.

There was only one thing Anakin would wish to know about.

It could only mean Mustafar and what had transpired between them that horrible day. More specifically, to what Obi-Wan had said at the end of that nightmarish day – the very last thing he’d said to him before turning away, tears nearly blinding him in their constant stream down his cheeks.

There were no words forthcoming to explain it away or to answer the question and so, it hung between them as he stayed where he was, tongue tied and shy, looking anywhere but back at Anakin. There wasn’t even a hope that he could force out an ‘ _I don’t know what you’re talking about_ ,’ for there was no way to erase his reaction to the question

It was all he could do to not move for all that he wanted to flee, to turn and embrace his friend, to scream at him and ask why, to hold and be held as once they had done for each other. And it could not be for that was not what they were anymore – they no longer had the familiarity of the ages between them that granted him that privilege.

Silence stretched between them, taunt and terribly ready to shatter at the lightest of touches.

As in the past when he spoke of them, he could not find the words to speak. Swallowing, he tried to come up with something to say, _anything_ to take away this horrid feeling of disconnection that had sprung up between them once again. To keep Anakin from shattering away from him again.

He couldn’t bear it if he lost him again because of his own, stupid emotions.

“Because I didn’t,” Anakin spoke into the silence, sparing him momentarily. “I did not mean a word I said to you.”

“Yes, you did. You have never lied about your feelings,” he hoarsely said, unwilling to play along with what had to be an illusion.

Anakin’s head shook and he moved, standing in front of his friend and mentor, the man who was his anchor and his light. “Hate is only love twisted upon itself, Obi-Wan,” he softly said. “I could not feel such a thing for you if my love for you was not so great that I knew you could save me. Vader feared you – and rightly so – because you could’ve destroyed the both of us. If you had only spoken up sooner, none of this would’ve happened.”

“What are you saying? _My emotions damned you_ ,” he cried out, anguished. Unwilling to look him in the eyes, unable to bear the weight of their finality.

“Your emotions **_saved_** me,” he countered firmly, grabbing hold of him when he would have turned away from him in utter, confused agony at these words he spoke. The shame of his Master stung him, cut into his soul, far more than words could tell. “Master, _my Obi-Wan_ , how is it that you could not know how I felt? What I felt for you? When I think of all those times I saved you, what I did as Vader to try to hate you – I don’t understand how you could think that nothing you could do would save me. Why didn’t you even attempt to save me with words that would’ve broken through the haze of hate? How could you not hear me screaming at you that I loved you?”

“How could I hear you say that when the woman you loved, when Padmé could not save you?” The anguished cry tore free from Obi-Wan’s lips, though he tried to stop them from escaping.

“Padmé?” Anakin repeated, disbelieving. Though he had known it was coming – this specter of his late wife – he had not expected to face it so soon. There was no question in his mind as to the importance she had in his life – and yes, he loved her. She was his Angel and the keeper of his world outside away from the Jedi Order. But she was not his soul – that was Obi-Wan.

Always would be. And if he could not get him to see that, how would he bear eternity in the Force – forever near him but always held away?

Always held apart?

“Yes, _Padmé_. Your wife and the woman you did all of this for,” he bitterly spat at him, pulling away from him to walk away. To stare off into the distance, shielded from Anakin’s penetrating gaze by the hazy mist cast by the fires burning. “You do remember her, don’t you?”

“Of course I do. I could never forget my angel – but you were my reality. I did all of this because I was afraid for her, yes. Afraid I would lose my refuge away from the world of the Jedi – and because you were not there when I needed you. I know better now. No,” he shook his head, refuting his own words easily. “I have the courage to speak of what I should have then. All I’ve ever really needed – and desired truly – is you. I still need you. Even as Vader I needed you with me.”

“You don’t know what you’re saying,” he denied, shaking his head as he stared into the sky. As far as he had come in his understanding of emotions and what they truly meant and the power they really held for others, he still had trouble when those emotions were directed towards him.

“I’ve never been clearer about anything in my whole life,” Anakin softly replied, coming up behind him. “And I will spend the rest of eternity proving myself to you. You, Obi-Wan Kenobi, are my light and my soul. I love you.”

“You can’t mean that.”

“But I do – and you cannot deny it any longer, Master. I love you,” he reiterated, arms catching hold of him and pulling him closer to him. But still, they stayed apart so that he could focus on keeping their gazes locked tightly. “You know this truth – know it as irrefutable truth. I love you.”

“I…I cannot know this.”

"Yes, you can,” Anakin softly corrected, gathering him into his arms and pulling him close. Peace washed over him, filling him up in effortlessly soothing waves. Even after all this time apart, Obi-Wan still had that affect upon him. “At last, you can know this. It is all right to love, Master. It is all right to love me as I love you, my Obi-Wan.”

“I…I…Anakin…” Obi-Wan stopped, he couldn’t say it. He just couldn’t say those words. This was not real, this – what was between them now – couldn’t possibly be real.

With his face buried in his Master’s soft hair, Anakin waited patiently. Though it tore into him to wait for his Master to come to grips with what was happening now, to be patient after all this time, Anakin could do no less. Unlike what he now admitted was an obsessive love for Padmé, his love for Obi-Wan was different. He wanted **_Obi-Wan’s_** happiness more than he wanted his own. He could not force a confession from him – nor could he soothe over a lack of one – if they were to be truly happy and content, it had to come from Obi-Wan, in his own time.

He loved this man and would wait for however long it took for Obi-Wan to come to terms with what they had. He would wait because what he was asking of his Master was a defiance of all that he knew himself to be, of all that he had accepted of his life. Obi-Wan was a Jedi of an older mold for all that he had bent over the years.

He was still a Jedi, this choice had to be his and his alone.

Breathing softly, Obi-Wan waited, tensely in his arms for Anakin to pull away from him. Pull away because of his continued silence. It was the only thing the younger man could possibly do under the circumstances. If he remained still, remained silent, then Anakin had nothing to hold out for. Nothing for which to grasp onto and build up a questionable reality for them to live in.

And yet, he could not stop the faint beating of his heart that held out hope for a future with him, that said it was possible for them.

It hurt to think that this was possible, that it was within his grasp – if he only had the courage to reach out and grab it. To admit to the truth of a love that couldn’t be denied, couldn’t be doubted, that lived within his soul still. The Force had never been silent about this reality, the viability of their love for one another.

Time was timeless to them. As far as they could tell, they had all the time in the universe now – did he really want to waste it, fearing his emotions and how Anakin made him feel? Could he really have this? Have Anakin? This piece of heaven that he longed for in life but was to afraid would prove false? Would prove to be one more thing that he was unworthy of?

Trembling arms rose and embraced the taller man finally, admitting shyly, “I…Anakin, I did not mean what I said on Mustafar. I…I was in error in my speaking to you. What I should’ve said was that I…I lo…love you. Not loved, because I could never stop feeling love for you. I tried for so long to do so but never could quite do it.” The words were stuttered and got quieter with every single admission before he finally came to a complete stop, fearing Anakin’s reaction.

Fearing that, even now, this would all prove to be some horrendously evil joke. That he would at last lose the only one he’d ever given every part of his heart and soul to for he could never be rewarded for what happened to his beloved, to the Galaxy, and to the Jedi Order.

Anakin’s shout of triumphant laughter was the last thing he expected to hear.

Making quite sure that his son was nowhere to be seen, Anakin tilted Obi-Wan’s face up to his and smiled. Truly smiled at the man he knew and loved, who had allowed himself to become his younger self – the other half of the Skywalker and Kenobi team, it was a sight Anakin also knew meant the full healing of the breach between them. For the harm, the break, had occurred when they were their true selves, not the other selves they had become without each other. “You have no idea how long I’ve **_ached_** to hear those words spoken to me by you. You denied me this love in life – a love that was completely blessed by the Force.”

“Anakin,” he whispered, breaking into his words, shamed. Trying to move away from that hand, that steady hand that had aided him, healed him, helped him…he could not meet those eyes.

Holding his face steady, Anakin would not let him look away from him. Not for one more **_second_** would he be denied this. “No, don’t look away from me. Don’t you **_dare_** look away from me. No more shame or regrets, my beloved Master. We are right where we belong – and I, for one, will not waste another precious second in regrets. Yes, we shall have to deal with the specter of the past and Padmé and my children and the Empire and everything else. But for now, we will have us – as it should be. As it has always been and always will be.”

And then he kissed him because nothing could have stopped him from doing so.

Plus, he just **_knew_** that Obi-Wan was going to tease him about how much like a sappy holo-novel Anakin sounded like.

End, Prologue.


	2. Luke seeks answers from Obi-Wan but Anakin is strangely reluctant to have him answer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: This is another conversation between Anakin and Obi-Wan in the Force’s glow zone. A conversation caused by one Luke Skywalker.
> 
> Author's Notes: Well, first of all, this is really just for kicks. Not to be taken seriously. And if someone wants to run with it and continue it, you are more than welcome to it. I give you my permission to do so. Secondly, is connected to the Luke portion of my "Deconstructing Skywalker and Kenobi" series. But you don’t have to read any of them to follow this story. This was just something I wrote to get Anakin to stop bothering me long enough for Obi-Wan to answer Luke’s questions about what went totally screwy between Anakin and Obi-Wan. For some reason, Anakin wouldn’t let him get a word in edgewise to explain anything.

"Obi-Wan, what is that?" Anakin mumbled. After a moment of trying to shut it out, he sat up and glared over his Master’s shoulder at the source that interrupted his sleep. "And why is it going off now when normal people are sleeping?"

"Luke," the Master replied, looking over at the bright glow as well.

“I’ll kill him," he muttered, yawning and falling back down beside Obi-Wan.

"Anakin, you can’t kill your own son," he patiently said, ignoring his muttered ' _watch_ _me_ '. "Why do you always act as though it is a surprise when he does this? And since when do you sleep?"

"Since it’s the only time I get to be truly alone with you, Master _who everyone here seems to think they have some prior claim upon_ ," he pointed out, somewhat bitterly. "Or I would if a certain annoying little someone didn’t keep calling you as though he owned you or something."

"He wishes to speak with me," Obi-Wan finished as though he hadn’t interrupted him.

"Why can’t that idiot boy of mine get himself his own Jedi Master to pester all the time? Doesn’t he know that I’ve earned the right to have you all to myself now?" he crossly asked, sitting up again and pushing the hair out of his eyes impatiently. "Why doesn’t he just ask Yoda? It’s not like he sleeps anyway. Luminous beings are we. Need for sleep, have we none," he mimicked the old master perfectly.

"Anakin, it is not wise to mock Master Yoda," he gently chided him, struggling not to smile.

"Or Qui-Gon?" he went on, ignoring the interruption, though that took a bit of effort. "They are both able and capable Masters – _and **not** mine_. There are dozens of Jedi Masters about this place, why does he have to call upon you all the time?"

"Well, I am the man who sent him out into the world. He knows me the best. Luke’s reasons for calling me probably has to do with…"

" ** _I don’t care what it has to do with_**!" His hands slammed against the bed, glaring at him. "Stop being so logical all the time. I’ve waited years to get you all to myself. To finally have you right where you belong, by my side always. First, you were Qui-Gon’s devoted and loving apprentice. Loyal to him and only training me because you promised him you would. And, while I appreciate what he did for me, he kept you tightly bound to his side. Then, once I got you to see me as an individual and worth more than just a promise made to a dying man, I had to share you with the whole freaking Galaxy – and the Council. Once knighted, I had my own missions before I fell and you became a devoted watcher and teacher to my son. Now that we’re finally at rest, don’t I deserve to have you all to myself? Haven’t I earned that at least?"

"Patience, my friend," he soothed him, rubbing his shoulder lightly. He didn’t bother to remind Anakin that he’d had to share him as well. With Padmé and Palpatine, knowing it would do no good. As far as they had come in repairing their relationship, some wounds were still to painful to be talked about. Not to mention, he didn’t want to think about them himself – at least, not here in their bedroom while the both of them were stripped down to their bare selves. "I’ll just go down and see what he wants. It shouldn’t take to long for he hasn’t needed either of us in some time."

"No, of course it won’t. Just like it didn’t take you long the last time he called upon you for help. Do you realize how often he does that? Calls upon you rather than any other Jedi?" Blue eyes glared at him resentfully, as if it was his fault.

"He knows me best," he softly reiterated.

"So what? Master Yoda was his real master – and you know it." Never mind the fact that even as Vader, he never really acknowledged any other teacher for his son **_but_** Obi-Wan.

"Anakin, he doesn’t feel comfortable treating Yoda so casually. None of us do."

"That doesn’t make it okay, Obi-Wan."

"What is this really about, Anakin? I’m not abandoning you for Luke, you know. I am merely helping him."

"Nothing so dire, my Master. But, if I may, might I remind you that he kept you tied up for months helping him find where _Darth Vader_ ," he spat out the name viciously, "Hid the Jedi Archives? Why not ask me? **_I was Vader_**. And then he asked you to help him find a suitable planet for his new Jedi Academy? That he then had you watching over Leia while he and Han went off doing Force only knows what on the other side of the Galaxy? While I don’t mind you helping my children out, this is getting ridiculous. You shouldn’t be treated so lightly for you are much more than a pet."

"Anakin, now you’re just being petty." But he held his eyes, softening the remark with the love glowing within their changeling depths.

While it warmed Anakin’s heart, reminding him why he loved this man, he knew that it wouldn’t stop the coming lecture. Obi-Wan _loved_ a good lecture, almost as much as he loved him.

"You must try to remember that Luke is trying to repair over twenty years of damage done to the Jedi image." The looks they exchanged were full of rueful acknowledgment of past errors. "An image that we all damaged with our obstinate clinging to old ways - and your inevitable fall because of it. He is trying to restore the Jedi, while bringing them down the path they should have always walked. A path, if I may remind you, that you thought was the best way for us to go along. He is making your dream come true. Not to mention deal with reconstructing the Galaxy and rewrite the lessons of the Jedi. The least you could do is be supportive of him."

" ** _I am supportive_** ," he insisted loudly, moderating his tone quickly at Obi-Wan’s look of disbelief. "Just not when he continually insists on taking you from my side. If I didn’t know any better, I would worry about his intentions towards you."

Obi-Wan stared up at his friend before bursting into laughter.

"It isn’t funny, Obi-Wan," he protested.

"Of course it isn’t." Running a hand through the long, dark blond hair, his eyes twinkling merrily at the disgruntled expression on Anakin’s face. "Anakin, you are a treasure, you know that? Don’t ever change, I wouldn’t know what to do with you if you did. As for Luke, he sees me as a father. A very eccentric, slightly batty, and not altogether reliable father. But a father nonetheless."

"Considering what he thought about his sister," he muttered darkly, not satisfied with that answer. "I have to worry about what that boy of mine may be thinking – since you apparently never do." He sighed, resigned to losing this tug of war with Obi-Wan, as if he ever had a chance at victory. The only way he could’ve won is to have pointed out that they were not supposed to interfere with the lives of those in the Galaxy now – and he couldn’t do that, not to Obi-Wan. At least not yet, he admitted. "What does he want now?"

Leaning over, Obi-Wan called out through the Force, letting Luke know that it was all right to speak. That he was there, listening to him. In the back of his mind, he hoped that what he was going to hear would be alright for Anakin to hear. He didn’t know how he’d handle it if it wasn’t.

Those thoughts left his mind once Luke began to speak. His hand stilled in Anakin’s hair, forgotten as he listened intently. Twisting, tearing, and dying inside, he couldn’t stop hearing the accusations ring out in the young man’s voice. The words he heard, spoken in such a lost and trembling voice, tore open the hole in his heart.

A hole he thought had been mended with the return of his friend and their mutual healing of each other.

Once he was done, the Master fell back upon his pillow, pale and shaky. A hand wiped his brow, closing his eyes for a moment as he did so. Listening to Luke brought back memories of a long ago time. A practically forgotten epoch from his life for all that he felt the sting of it still.

Looking up at Anakin at last, he sighed, seeing the equally shaken expression on his face. The broken look he knew all to well. A look he knew was reflected on his own face. The only words he could find to express his feelings were inadequate.

But they were all he could say. "Oh, well. That was completely unexpected."

"You are not going down there!" Anakin declared, his voice ringing in the room with absolute authority.

And absolute fear.

"I have to," he replied softly. "Luke needs to know what happened."

"But you didn’t fail me, Obi-Wan! I failed me. I made those choices! I sided with the Emperor! I believed him! You did nothing but support me. You tried to be there for me even when I did not let you in on all that was troubling me, when I continually shut you out of my life. You continued to believe in me when no one else in the Jedi Order did," he protested, grasping the hand that had moved away from him. Grasping it with a desperate strength that revealed the turmoil he felt even after all this time.

"I didn’t truly see you, Anakin. I never saw what you needed, not really."

"Master," he started, desperate to ease the guilt he saw in Obi-Wan’s eyes. It **_killed_** him every time he saw that guilt, that doubt, enter those beautiful eyes that meant the world – **_and more_** – to him. If he could do everything all over again, even if it meant denying himself Padmé and his children, he would just to keep that look from his eyes.

"Hush, it is my turn to speak. He needs to know that I was blind when it came to who you were. That I was a fool who allowed himself to be led by the convictions of others over my own intuition. I never really listened to a word you had to say," he sighed. "For that would have been to lose what I thought my true identity was, lose who I believed I was. What I thought was real and true, the reality of the Jedi way – a way that was dying. A way that was wrong for the world that we had grown into was different. The world changed. I did not see that we had to change with it. Only you saw. Only you spoke up. And that, my beloved friend, is why I failed you. I was never what you needed in a Master for I couldn’t let myself just let go and trust you."

"Qui-Gon was right about you, Master. Give you an inch and you’ll find a way to take upon you the blame for the whole Galaxy’s problems," he ruefully said.

"Anakin."

"Ah, my turn to talk." Anakin pulled the older man close, whispering softly in his ear as he held him close. It had taken him years to get past his own feelings of guilt – and he succeeded because of this man. Now, he was determined to return the favor and help him deal with his guilt, deserved or not. "You were all that I needed, Obi-Wan. You were all that I ever wanted. If you believe that by not listening to me you failed me, then I failed you in not listening to you. In not listening to your wisdom and learning to see beyond the lies, to see beyond the mark that was always in front of me."

"Anakin, you were caught between a rock and a hard place. The Jedi Council was not very welcoming of you or your ways. I was not very open to them either for you confounded me more that Master Jinn ever did," he laughed slightly.

"And you weren’t, my dear Master?"

The question was left hanging in the silence of the room.

Finally, Obi-Wan spoke up, not ignoring the question for there was no need of an answer. They both knew the truth. "Still, I must speak to him. Luke deserves to know the truth of things if he is to avoid our calamity."

"We," he corrected, " ** _We_** should speak to him."

"He asked for me to explain," he reminded him, pulling away to look up at him. "This burden is mine to bear now as it had been then."

"Luke is my son," he countered firmly, keeping a firm hold on him. From Obi-Wan’s docility, he knew that he was not alone in this need to remain touching. They both needed to feel that this was real, not just know in the Force that it was real. "And he needs to hear more than just one side of the story. Besides, I don’t trust you to tell him the complete truth. Or you might tell him the complete, unvarnished truth – in excruciating, he doesn’t need to know all of that detail." This was said with an impish smile and he watched Obi-Wan flush at the implications, though they had been far from the true at the time.

"Anakin," he primly objected. "I’m sure he suspects. Everyone suspected something. Even Palpatine did – and you know what I think about him." And that had been a painful realization, that Palpatine had figured out what Obi-Wan had not until after death. That though Anakin loved Padmé, he would’ve let her die if forced to choose between his wife and his Master. This total devotion to him still surprised him and stunned him on a daily basis and he only hoped that he could return that devotion to Anakin.

"I find that not thinking about him works best," Anakin sniffed, ignoring the fact that Luke may not be quite as innocent as he liked to believe.

Giving him an impish look of his own, he teasingly asked, "Haven’t you seen him with Han?"

"I try not to think about it," Anakin said loftily.

"Hypocrite," he teased gently.

"Look who’s talking," he shot back.

End.

See, I told you he was being a pain.


	3. You drive me crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: This is another conversation between Anakin and Obi-Wan in the Force’s glow zone. Obi-Wan went ahead and visited Luke – sans Anakin. Suffice it to say, Anakin hears about it and is not too pleased with Obi-Wan for doing this. Nor is Qui-Gon.
> 
> Author's Notes: These are slowly heading into the category of serious. Obi-Wan wears glasses b/c I saw a picture of Ewan McGregor in glasses and he’s dang hot in them. (He’s hot without them but that’s not the point.) Besides, I like having the image of flawed humanity still existing within the Force, Yoda kept his cane after all.

"Obi-Wan!” Anakin hollered, going into their bedroom.

Obi-Wan glanced up from his reading, the glasses perched on the end of his nose. “Yes?” he asked, noting the expression of displeasure on Ani’s face as he stood in front of him.

“You went down without me,” he accused him without preamble.

“And?” he queried, not bothered by the look. He was practically inured to his angry looks by now.

“You weren’t…” he sighed in exasperation and pushed the glasses back up, “supposed to.”

“Thank you,” he smiled, returning his gaze to his book even as he asked. “Why not?”

“We had this talk before. And you know it,” Anakin accused him, taking away his book, wanting him to focus on the matter at hand.

“So we did,” he nodded, looking up at him blandly, as though he didn’t know quite what Anakin’s problem was. “But as I told you then, he needed to hear the story from me. For it was through my actions, my failing you, that you fell prey to Palpatine’s lies.”

“Are you always this thick? Or is it just for me?” he asked, exasperated.

Obi-Wan pretended to think, resting his head on his hand. “Oh, its definitely all for you. Self-preservation, I have come to realize, is something I should have tried years ago when dealing with you. It certainly would’ve helped me out while you were driving – and jumping over the side of the open air cruisers. Or baiting the Jedi Council because of something they failed to do that you felt they should have. Or attempting to rescue me from some danger you tricked me into being bait for. Or…”

Kissing him to shut him up, Anakin lingered for just a moment longer than was probably necessary. But neither cared. “You drive me crazy, Master.” He wished that he’d known in life that this was the best way to get his Master to pay attention to him. He’d have tried it back then. After all, Obi-Wan had **_always_** made him want to be his best self, to forget what he wanted and what was best for others. Things would’ve gone much better for the both of them if he’d just approached him then instead of chasing Padmé around.

But, _nooo_. He just had to be honorable, had to do the decent thing and wait until he had **_died_** to make a move on his Master.

What an absolute idiot he’d been.

“The feeling, I assure you, is more than mutual. I have come to the conclusion that I must remain slightly off-kilter in order to keep up with you, young one.” He quirked an eyebrow at his friend, “And did I say you could stop?”

Grinning down at him, he cheekily said, “You didn’t even say I could start.”

“And when has that ever stopped you?” he asked, reaching forward to cup Anakin’s face in his hand. His thumb rubbed over the full lower lip softly. “Come down here. You’re making my neck ache”

Moving to sit in his lap with little complaint, Anakin rested his head on Obi-Wan’s shoulder. His hand rubbed his neck soothingly, keeping his touch gently firm, “Sorry, Master. But you still shouldn’t have done it without me. Now my boy is going to be blaming you for what happened to me.”

“Well,” he said comfortingly, “You blamed me from the start. It doesn’t make that much of a difference to me to have your son do it now.”

“Oh, yes,” he sarcastically said. “That makes me feel so much better.”

“I thought it would.”

“Are the two of you ever going to grow up?” Qui-Gon asked, walking into their room.

“Was there something you wanted, Master Jinn?” Anakin pointedly asked him, making it clear that his presence was not required – nor was it desired.

“Well, I would like to speak to Obi-Wan in private for a moment,” he started to say, noticing the darkening of the blue in the eye before him. _The danger_ , he idly thought, _was not from Anakin’s attraction to the dark side, great though that had been – and still was. It was his absolute possessiveness of Obi-Wan, even in death. His absolute need – craving that security – to know that Obi-Wan would never desert him. Never leave him to face, to fight, the darkness alone again. Did he not understand yet that Obi-Wan would always be his? That he needn’t fear to lose him to prior bonds of affiliation_?

“No,” Anakin firmly said, well knowing what Qui-Gon was thinking. It didn’t bother him. The thing that bothered him was the careful way every Jedi within the Force was trying to encroach upon the one time he had to himself with Obi-Wan. Or rather, the one time he was supposed to have with Obi-Wan.

“Anakin,” Obi-Wan began, not at all sure where to begin. Of course, he was aware that he should berate him for his foolishness in this matter. That there was nothing anyone could say to him that would separate the two of them ever again. But in death, as in life, he could not bring himself to even attempt such a thing.

Anakin was the same in death as he had been in life – and he loved him for it. The same willful, loving man he’d always been, even if he was a tad possessive at times. Okay, he forced himself to admit, Anakin was more than a tad possessive – he was completely and utterly possessive about him. To try and stop the possessive feelings his former apprentice had about him would have been a waste of time, he had tried to talk to him about it and, while he listened politely, he never changed. Obi-Wan had learned to deal with it.

Besides, it didn’t really hurt anyone as far as he could tell.

“Master, when you are in here, they are not allowed to disturb us. And they know it. You promised that we would have a place that was just for us,” he slightly whined, hating the sound of it but unable to hold back. It felt like he was alone in this fight against allowing others to disturb their time together. They had so little of it because his Master was very popular. First his son would call anytime he felt like, and now Qui-Gon came bursting into their room.

Who next? Master Windu?

Anakin just wished that his Master vocally felt the same way he did about protecting what was a haven of their own. He wondered if they would ever stand united when it came to their partnership. Of course, they had always stood united on the battlefield or on missions; he just wished that it would be so here.

He wished that he could honestly feel that he was not to stand forever behind the Jedi Order’s wishes. Or the wishes of those who dwelt in the mortal plain who had some claim upon Obi-Wan.

Rolling his eyes, he stroked Anakin’s back absently. “What is it, Master?” he asked, ignoring the unhappy mutterings of the man in his lap. He knew what Anakin was thinking; they had finally come to the point were there were no secrets between them. He felt the same way about all those who consistently interrupted them. But fighting against them was useless.

And he would not waste his energy fighting a losing battle.

“Your meeting with the young Skywalker,” Qui-Gon bluntly said. “I thought we had firmly established that we no longer have a place in the Galaxy. That our voice would do more damage than good in the construction of the New Jedi Order. You were told to tell him that contact with us was not an option any longer-which you did. That he needed to find his way through the world on his own. Why did you break down and see him after keeping silent for so long?”

“I’ve been spending too much time with rebellious Jedi.” His answer was flippant for all the seriousness of his expression. “Their ways have finally rubbed off on me.”

Anakin stifled a laugh, hiding his face in Obi-Wan’s neck. He couldn’t believe he’d just heard Obi-Wan say that to his Master – and so gravely. The words – and the truthful meaning of them – was anything but.

“Obi-Wan, this is no time for levity. What you have done is an offense against the Force.”

“I didn’t do anything wrong, Master Jinn,” Obi-Wan quietly defended his actions. “Luke asked me some very specific questions about why Anakin fell. Why I did nothing to stop it. I went to answer them so that he may pass those lessons on to the Jedi he teaches now. They need to learn the lessons of the past if they are to apply them in their lives.”

“No matter your reasons for doing so, you should not have. You were in the wrong to disobey the orders you were given,” Qui-Gon sternly said. “The rules we have in place are there for a specific reason. We do not interfere in the matters of mortals any longer.”

“Oh, you’re a fine one to talk. You who directly opposed the Jedi Council on many occasions, for all that you were successful in your endeavors. Who risked the life of the Queen and the people of Naboo by taking a chance on me. You risked the lives of many on the chance that I would win the race. If the outcome had been different, the losses would have been tremendous,” Anakin burst out. He was offended by this hypocritical reprimand his Master was being given, even if Obi-Wan obviously felt that he deserved it.

The complacency of his Master had often annoyed him. It was no different this time – because Obi-Wan had been right to do what he did. More than anything, he wished his Master’s sense of honor had not made him feel that he should bear the burden of the past alone. They should have been together. This was not his burden alone, even if he wished to carry it alone.

It was theirs for they were in it together, entwined now as firmly as they had been then. “Obi-Wan is right, he did nothing wrong. Your rules do not apply in this situation.”

“An exception should not be made, no matter the circumstances.”

Anakin scoffed his attitude, “Just stop it with the sanctimonious act. It is because of such blind and unflinching set of rules that I fell prey to the seduction of Sidious that promised me that there would be no rules, no senseless restrictions to hold me back. That is the same attitude that caused many good Jedi to became Dark Jedi for they could not exist under such unbending rules. How many innocents died because of the unyielding ways that the Jedi Council clung to? What Obi-Wan did for Luke, he had to for the good of all, and you should not take him to task for it. Remember, Master Jinn, you always said that to do one’s duty was not always to do right. Get out. You have no place here.”

“Anakin, something else is at work here,” Obi-Wan quietly said before Qui-Gon had moved. His iron hard gaze pinned his Master in place, the authority he held was in the question he asked. “What is it?”

“It is not our concern,” Qui-Gon sternly replied, looking away from them.

“If it was not our concern, you would not be here,” Obi-Wan pointed out. Though he knew his Master would not care to see it, he allowed his hand to travel up into Anakin’s hair and wind about the strands to pull him closer. His other arm surrounded his waist and he held him to his warmth, ignoring the uncomfortable looks he was getting.

Right now, Anakin needed his attention. Once he was soothed and comfortable in his arms, “What is going on, **_Qui-Gon_**?” He addressed him as an equal, not allowing for further evasion. It was a hard and fast way of making sure that he got his attention for he, like Anakin, rarely felt comfortable addressing his former Master by his given name.

Of course, he used the term Master as more of a term of endearment than anything else...still, it was startling to hear.

Anakin was shocked, not ever expecting to hear Obi-Wan refer to his Master in that way. It went a long way to reveal to him just how much was going on beneath the surface that he had not attempted to probe because he'd been so upset. All he had focused on was the offense given to his Master. He ruefully acknowledged that there was much he still had to learn for all his innate abilities.

Turning about, Qui-Gon closed the door and sat on the bed, not meeting either man’s look. He especially avoided Obi-Wan's searching one, feeling uncomfortable under it. “A new enemy has begun to encroach upon our Galaxy. One none of us recognize or can gain an understanding of. They are stranger than any being we've ever encountered before and seem to be utterly ignorant of the Force. Utterly unreachable by those who are Force sensitive. We do not know what this means for the New Republic or the Jedi Order. But we do know that we cannot enter. We must allow them to rise or fall on their own merits.”

From the sound of things, Anakin and Obi-Wan knew that life in the Galaxy was going to get very hot and very dangerous. And that it was going to happen very soon, with an enemy they would not be able to sense coming. Anakin felt an added sense of fear. His children were going to be in grave danger.

Graver danger than they had ever been in, even while living under the oppressing hand of the Empire.

Anakin was torn between the desire to rush from the room to warn Luke – and hide away in Obi-Wan’s arms until the danger had passed. He knew that neither option was open to him – though he desperately wished he could get away with the second. Being in Obi-Wan's arms provided the safe haven he'd longed for in life and had always been denied. Partly because of Obi-Wan but mostly because he had not known, or rather had not acknowledged, that this is where he longed to be.

“Who are they?” he asked, voice only trembling slightly.

“It does not matter for they are not here yet. Even if they were, it would not matter. They are a threat to the living, not to us. Whatever happens, you must not interfere.” There was steel in his voice and they nodded, signaling that they agreed.

“But,” Anakin said, almost as though bargaining with him. “I intend to warn my children of them. Well, I’ll warn Luke. Leia, though I love her and know that she has forgiven me, will not listen to me. I hurt her too badly.”

“I shall tell her,” Obi-Wan offered, pressing a kiss upon his bowed head. Challengingly, he looked at his former Master, “And you won’t stop us.”

“No,” he sighed and left, watching them for a moment in the doorway before he closed it. What they did in there was not for his eyes. But he envied the two of them and wished, for just a moment, that he had had the courage Anakin had shown. That he had just gone after what he wanted.

But as he thought about how complete the two were even when they were separated by a Galaxy, he knew that it was a futile hope.

Obi-Wan could never be anyone’s but Anakin’s.

End.

_Eh, not sure about the whole Qui-Gon thing towards Obi-Wan because I, personally, don't care for the pairing but the muse will do what the muse will do..._


	4. Pain enters the world of the dead...and doesn't even both to say "I'm Sorry"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Deathfic. No, really. Someone in the mortal plain joins those in the Force’s glow zone. It deals with the death of someone in the war with the Yuuzhan Vong, I apologize if you have no knowledge about them, but there won’t be a whole lot of detail. So, other than the person who died, I don’t think it has any spoilers from the series. Also, Padmé appears. 
> 
> Summary: Anakin feels incredibly guilty over someone’s death. Obi-Wan does his best to comfort him.
> 
> Author’s Note: I was doing some research for one of the stories I’m writing and came up with this when I thought about what something like this might do to someone with Anakin’s generous heart, how he would feel. Thus, this was born. I also think its unfair that only those who were Jedi in life get to float about in the glow zone, hence Padmé’s appearance.

Anakin was tending to his garden.

He had never thought he would be much of a gardener, having lacked patience for, well _everything_ , in life. Gardening, he knew, required a great deal of it. But he had needed a hobby that wouldn’t get him into trouble with those who dwelt here. As fun as that was to pull the Council’s chains, it cut into his real passion. Obi-Wan never wanted to be around him if he annoyed the Council to much - though he had drawn that line much farther out than it used to be, Anakin knew that he got away with a lot more now than he used to - for all that they had loosened up dramatically here.

And boy, how they had loosened up.

Well, except for Master Mace Windu but there had to be **_some_** things that remained constant.

Sometimes he had a hard time reminding himself that these were the same people he’d known in life who’d always been so hard on him and his Master. Had always been so stringent with their praise and affection. At times he felt as though he’d entered some bizarre reality and the life he’d had before was some kind of weird dream.

But he wouldn’t complain about it.

Partly out of fear that he would lose it. The rest because he simply and truly enjoyed this world and didn't want to do anything to damage it. Damage the beauty and peace he found within it's encompassing and forgiving arms. Enjoyed the fact that he could finally be himself among those he loved and admired. He no longer had to hide who he was.

Plus, he got his very own, permanent Obi-Wan Kenobi out of it.

So, he would not object to the bizarreness he sometimes found this world to be. He had instead looked about to see what the world missed – and found it in the lack of decent gardens. Since he had always loved them, the peaceful beauty within them, he decided to create his own haven. The way they soothed him when he couldn’t find Obi-Wan.

Shockingly, he had taken up gardening.

Much to his surprise – _and Obi-Wan’s_ – he found he was good at it. Better than good, though that may have been ego talking, he found that it was something that came to him as naturally as racing had. It could be that his years in the suit had taught him patience and a desire to cultivate life, instead of destroy it. Or it could really be as simple as his connection to the Force allowed him to love and bring forth life...he didn't really care.

It was as close to true meditation as he could get. Therefore, Anakin could often be found, knee deep in soil, in the center of the garden. His soul hummed with peace and contentment as he dug into the rich ground.

At the moment, he was planting a few of the flowers he’d had loved on Naboo's lush and exotic lands. They were near one of the reclining benches he’d built so that he and Obi-Wan could relax in the sunlight. Or enjoy the evening stars that shone so brilliantly here.

Hearing the sound of someone coming, he sat back on his heels, anticipation thrumming in his veins.

“Hello, Anakin.”

Though he kept his face from falling, he couldn’t help the sigh that escaped his lips. “Padmé,” he greeted her, brushing his hands off. Slightly moving, he looked up at her. “What can I do for you?” he asked, admiring the way the sunlight glinted off her hair.

She still looked like an angel to him.

Padmé smiled at him, sitting on the bench. “Not who you were expecting, am I? I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” he said, feeling guilty for wishing that she would just go away. “You are looking well.”

“I’m wonderful.”

“That artist lover of yours treating you all right?”

“He loves me,” she simply said, a smile crossing her face. Thinking about him, her stunning beauty become almost unworldly. She literally glowed with love and affection, vibrating with it. “His name is Palo, and you know it.”

“Doesn’t mean I have to use it,” he shrugged, unconcerned. “Not to be rude or anything but…”

“Expecting Obi-Wan any minute, are you?” she teased, genuinely pleased that he had found his happiness at last. She had hers and never wanted him to suffer while she lived in joy.

“My mom,” he corrected her, not surprised that she thought it was Obi-Wan he waited anxiously for. It usually _was_ Obi-Wan he waited for – and everyone knew it. Why would he bother to hide it? Then finished his prior question, “Did you need anything?”

“Your mom?” she asked, surprised to hear this. “Say hi to her for me.”

“I will,” he agreed, looking at her in expectation. Though they had finally become real friends, Padmé never visited her former husband unless she had a reason.

Instead of replying, Padmé rose and restlessly paced one of the garden’s many paths. In the back of her mind, she admired the work that Anakin had done. This place was truly the epicenter of peace within the peaceful world of the Force. It did little to still her restless feelings though.

Anakin waited, just watching her, anticipating what, he did not know.

“Something’s wrong,” she finally said.

“Yes,” he scowled darkly, turning back to the hole he’d dug. With careful actions, belying his tumultuous feelings, he gently planted the bush and covered up the roots. “What is wrong is the Yuuzhan Vong and their deceptive ways that are hurting the Galaxy.”

“It is more than that,” she shivered, colder than she ever thought she could be. Even when she had stood and faced him in the burning Hell that was Mustafar on that day so long ago as he fully embraced Darth Vader, she hadn’t felt so cold. Approaching him, her hand rested on his shoulder, squeezing it, asking for a measure of his strength. His comfort. “It is our children.”

Stiffening at the words, Anakin kept his head bowed, staring at nothing in particular. It was a sore point for him as the invasion dragged on. They had often had arguments about it and what he should be doing. He often felt as though she was condemning him, though he knew she wasn’t. It was her motherly instincts that kicked in – and demanded an answer of appropriate strength from him.

An answer he had to deny her. “You know there is nothing I can do for them. I’m not even allowed to visit them anymore.”

“Since when have you let the Jedi Council dictate to you in matters of the heart?” she demanded, bringing up one of her main arguments. The one that she knew he couldn’t fight for it was truth.

“Since I agree with them,” he quietly said, unable to deny her words. But also unable to deny what he felt about it. “If I interfere every time my heart says I should, they would never learn. I would cripple them as surely as the Council crippled Obi-Wan and I. That is one of the reasons I fell, I wanted to fix everything myself – even the things that I had no control over.”

“Ani,” a voice said and they turned to see Shmi, her beautiful face lined with worry once again. It was an unusual expression here for there was completeness of being within the Force that they all found. “You must go to see Obi-Wan. Now.”

Immediately, Anakin was on his feet and running past his mother. “Love you, mom,” he called over his shoulder right before the door closed. Fear clouded his thoughts and made his headlong rush much more headless than it otherwise might have been.

Only one thought dominated his thoughts, for all that he tried to keep it stilled.

For all that he tried to keep it at bay, he could not help thinking it. O _bi-Wan, be alright. Please, you have got to answer me and be all right. I’m giving you no choice in this._ It was an odd thought to have after death, but he could think of no other reason for his mother’s order.

Shmi had been thoroughly shocked to find out about them.

It had always been in her mind that her son would be with Padmé. And to find him with his Master...was more than a little shocking to her. In fact, he feared that she would try to separate them. But he was grateful for her trust in him. She would never worry him needlessly, especially about Obi-Wan. She may not have understood their relationship – not many did, even he had moments when he wondered about it – but she loved him. She loved him enough to go against many of the things she’d been taught about the right kind of relationships and the wrong kind of relationships.

And she watched them, trying to see why they why they were together.

Like many others she could not see any logical reasons for their union. Unlike the Jedi, however, she could see the pure love that existed between them. Seeing that, she backed them up with all of her heart. If he loved Obi-Wan as much as it looked like he did, that was enough for her.

_Anakin, I’m fine. Calm down, your feelings are agitating everyone here._

He slowed down, hearing his beloved’s voice. _Are you all right? Mom said that I needed to go to you. She made it sound as if something happened to you_.

_Anakin, please, believe me. I’m fine._

_Are you sure_?

_Yes, beloved. But there is something you should know._

_All right. I’ll be right with you. Where are you?_

_Near the Temple complex._

Anakin stumbled, knowing what that meant. Padmé’s words came back to him, taunting him. ‘ _Something’s wrong…it is our children_.’

_Anakin, are you all right?_ Obi-Wan’s voice asked, worried by the silence, the distress he felt coming across their bond, though he knew that Anakin believed him when he said he was fine. It occurred to him that he might already know.

_Which is it?_

_I’m sorry?_ The question came reflexively, even though it only confirmed his suspicions. Questioning things was a habit he’d developed in life and, though he had tried to break it, occasionally it would rear its head.

_Don’t play dumb with me, not now. Which of my children is it? Luke or Leia?_ Anakin knew that Obi-Wan didn’t doubt him, he knew that he was just buying time until he could come up with a calm answer. One that would not hurt him anymore than he would be. He was not in the mood for the gentle answer. All he wanted to know which of his children he’d soon be seeing.

_Neither, beloved. It’s Anakin._ Obi-Wan felt the pain wash over him. His knees almost gave out under its intensity. Ignoring the odd and knowing, sometimes pitying looks he received, he looked towards the door.

Anakin’s knees gave out and he sank to the ground. _His grandson, his precious namesake_.

_Obi-Wan, I need you._ The plea escaped him before he could stop it. He knew that his love would not come. As much as he would want to be with him, his Master was the most conscientious man ever. Obi-Wan had to meet up with Anakin Solo, welcome him into the Force’s embrace.

His tears fell, soaking the ground underneath him, his thoughts raced endlessly. Rocking himself, he let the words beat him into submission, railing at himself for this. For what had happened, for what he could not change, could not stop. _What am I supposed to do for my daughter? How am I to face Leia now? I couldn’t do a thing to save her precious son._

Warm arms surrounded him and he felt himself being picked up, embraced by those gentle arms, and he couldn’t stop the tears that fell anew. “You came,” he whispered, awed.

“Of course I did,” Obi-Wan soothed him. “Where else would I be but right here when you need me?”

He cried harder, ashamed of his doubt. “I thought…”

“Shhhhh…now, I know. It's all right,” he soothed him, curling him into his embrace fully. Rocking back and forth, he said nothing more. He could only hope that his actions spoke the words he could not say.

With Anakin, he knew that his words had never been enough for he could only ever find Jedi platitudes to speak to him. Only ever speak words that had been drilled into his head from the time he could first understand their meaning. Obi-Wan had been ashamed of this lack on his part, it had often caused him to stumble around him.

Anakin had an ability that Obi-Wan envied. The words of love came so easily, so fluently to him. They were just natural extensions of who and what he was.

But for the man they called the _Negotiator_ , the words of love stumbled and died upon his lips. He always felt awkward and inadequate trying to speak them. They did not flow so much as choke him, strangle him until they died a silent death within him. As much as he wanted to speak them, he could not. For all that he tried, he still did not fully understand the relevancy of love.

And so, he spoke with his actions and his constant care – never knowing if Anakin would ever understand just how much he cared about him. How much he meant to him.

Anakin snuggled deeper into the arms that held him, breathing in Obi-Wan’s peace and love. “Why did this have to happen?” he murmured at last, letting the peace seep into him bones. Letting it soothe and rock away his fears and his tears, leaving him open to the words of his Master – open in a way he never had been before.

“There’s nothing you could have done,” Obi-Wan said slowly, trying to find the words he needed to say. “Even had you been allowed to see them, to warn them.”

“But why did have to happen at all? Of what good is it to take an innocent child? Why take away my little Anakin?” he asked, pleading for comfort, any kind at all would do. He just needed to be sure that he was real, that Obi-Wan was with him, loving him. Words mattered little now that he had the reality he wanted, that he could _feel_ the truth of that reality as he never could before. “Why must my Leia have to suffer the loss of her baby? She went through so much to have him safely, to bring him into the Galaxy – and now this.”

“There is no true death, Anakin…” he stopped suddenly, burying his head in Anakin’s hair. Obi-Wan couldn't do it. He couldn't say those words.

He felt Anakin’s jump of surprise as he didn’t finish his words and said instead, “I don’t know. I don’t know why death has to take the very young, the innocent. I do not know why it is not more discriminating, why it would take away the beloved child of a parent. Why sometimes a parent must outlive their own children. I don’t know any of these answers. As much as I may have wished it, I never did. I have never had the words that you needed to hear, my beloved.

"Never knew what to say when your burdens grew greater than you could carry them by yourself. Wish that I could take away all your sorrows and tears with words of comfort that would ease even your heartaches. But I cannot. I never could. All I can do is tell you that I love you and will be here for you. And I don’t think that will ever be enough.”

“It’s always been enough, Obi-Wan. It’s all I ever wanted,” he said, finally looking up at him.

To his great surprise – and dismay, he could see tears coursing down his beloved Master’s face.

Raw tears that he never expected to see again streaked down his cheeks, exposing his pain and sorrow.

Anakin had not seen him cry since that hellish and nightmarish day on Mustafar that was forever imprinted upon his memory.

A day that he loved – for it was the first time he had heard Obi-Wan break out of the Jedi mold and tell him how he felt. Tell him plainly, holding nothing back. His Master’s love had instinctively reached out and cradled itself about the part of Vader that had still been Anakin, cocooning him within its warmth and purity. Keeping him safe and alive until Luke came to shine his light upon him, awakening him once again.

And hated for it was the day that he lost him.

Had lost the man that meant everything to him.

He had killed him, but not with a light saber as Vader would later do in life.

No, it was not with a man made weapon at all.

But with the fateful words ‘ _I hate you_ ’ ringing out between them. Words that he had not meant and would forever haunt him. Before his eyes he could still see the absolute, shattering heartbreak that filled Obi-Wan’s eyes. That crushed his heart.

His Obi-Wan, the man he swore he’d never hurt. The man he swore would never be hurt by anyone ever again. And he, Anakin, had done the unforgivable to him.

Cupping his face in his hands, he kissed each and every one of his tears until they ceased to fall. Until all signs of them disappeared.

“Does Uncle Luke know about this?” a voice asked, shocked wonder in it.

End.

_Palo...her canon first love_.


	5. Well, does he?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: None. Well, Anakin Skywalker does have some randy thoughts but it *is* Anakin after all. Are we surprised by this?
> 
> Summary: Dealing with the repercussions of the infamous question, “Does Uncle Luke know about this?”

“Does Uncle Luke know about this?” Anakin Solo repeated, watching as his grandfather and the young looking man with him look at each other in shock at the sound of his voice. Though he didn't look anything like the holo-pictures of Ben Kenobi that Uncle Luke had shown him, it could only be him. Who else would have the time to learn such unison that they could turn as one to stare at him.

It was almost amusing to see how red both men became as they stared at him – especially Ben. He thought it was kinda cute, in a bizarre way. “Well? Does he?”

Anakin regained his voice first, clinging onto Obi-Wan's arm to hold him in place feeling his Master's instinctual move away from him. He wasn't going to hide this – from anyone here. He could feel his Master's embarrassment and wanted to laugh because seriously? After all this time and all that they had done? It was rather endearing and made him fall in love all over again. Though truthfully, he was just as embarrassed as his Master was to be caught. “No, he doesn't know. And you aren't going to tell him!"

Tilting his head, he asked before his grandfather could say anything else. "What about my mom?"

"Of course...well," he stopped and considered that for a moment. "Leia is better at figuring things like that out. She might suspect something, it isn't like our history isn't public knowledge now. And there are many who are remembering just who and what we were."

"What?" Obi-Wan asked, face blazing even hotter.

Anakin smirked at him, enjoying himself immensely for the first time since the invasion had hurt and destroyed much of what his children had worked to restore. "Come on, Master, you've seen enough of her to know what she's like. Unlike Luke, she can pick up on many things that others miss as unimportant or trivial. She has been trained in the art of politics. Plus, she would've learned about you from her adoptive father, and he always believed that something was going on between us, though you never saw it. And we'll talk about this later. Anakin Solo! Just what do you think you're doing?” he demanded, returning to the original point.

“Watching you,” he replied, smirking back. Oh, he was definitely amused by this. It made dying so young almost worth it.

Almost.

“Well, stop it,” Anakin ordered him, feeling Obi-Wan's head drop to his shoulder. His poor Master, he'd have to make up for this whole situation later...he was looking forward to it.

“Why?”

His grandson's voice broke into his pleasant thoughts and he snapped at him, irritably. “Because you're not supposed to be here.”

“Why?” he asked again, cocking his head to the side, not fazed by the tone in his voice. His own father used it to many times for it to affect him. Besides, they fascinated him more than the trouble he apparently was in, though he didn't know why.

Watching them, he was struck by how right they seemed together. For all that he’d seen, there was something unique about them that kept his attention on them. Obi-Wan's reddish brown hair blending perfectly into his grandfather's blond and brown tresses – at home in each other's presence. The wildness of his grandfather found a peaceful resonating cord within the tranquility that was his Master.

Perfectly complimentary.

There was a balance between them that he could sense that fit right in with what he felt the Force was supposed to be. And he wished that he could show it to Jacen so that he, too, would understand that it didn't have to be one or the other. That the Force was all inclusive.

“Give me strength,” Anakin muttered, nudging Obi-Wan just a bit with his shoulder. He'd never been very good at this sort of thing and really wished his Master would say something. That he would do more than just act in this embarrassed manner that really made him want to get him alone in their rooms, in his arms.

_To comfort him_ , the thought entered his mind and he entertained it for a moment before pleading with him, “Help me out here.” They could do without giving his grandson any more ideas.

“Oh, no. I don't think so. He's your grandson. Your responsibility,” Obi-Wan pointed out, voice muffled by Anakin's shoulder where he'd taken refuge. “Therefore, any discussions about his impropriety should really be conducted by you.”

“Because I'm a model of good behavior,” Anakin dryly reminded him.

“Oh, right. I suppose there is that,” Obi-Wan sighed, accepting the truth of his words.

Shaking his head that he was still the responsible one in the relationship and turning to face the cause of his current predicament, he willed the blush to subside. Looking up at the young man who waited, a gleefully anticipatory look upon his face, he wondered just what he was supposed to say to him. To this young man who in many ways reminded him of his beloved idiot, and yet, he was not the same person he held within his embrace.

And that was another worry. Just how he was going to survive with two Anakins to deal with? How was he going to keep them in line when he could barely handle his own beloved's starts?

For he knew from past experience that it was not going to be a group effort.

No, that would be to easy, that would make sense.

Which is why he knew that it wasn’t going to happen, it never did. It was ultimately going to be him who was going to have to get them to follow the rules and behave. The Council would just point out – in its infinite wisdom – that it was only right. After all, no one had more experience handling difficult Jedi than he. It was something he'd prepared for all his life – starting with his Master.

And wasn't that a thought. Master Qui-Gon Jinn was going to adore this whole situation. With another sigh, he tackled the problem before him. “Jedi Anakin Solo, you are not supposed to be wandering about the Force like this without proper preparation.”

“Why not?” he asked, losing his belligerence in the face of this calm Master Jedi.

He couldn't simply toss him aside like he had with his grandfather. He found that he was unable to resist the authority in Obi-Wan's voice as he could with other Jedi – with other people, even those in command – that he had met over the years. Even his uncle and parents didn't have that kind of power over him.

He either listened to them – or he didn't. With this Master Jedi, there really was no other choice, for all that there was no Force persuasion in his voice.

There was something almost magnetically compelling about him.

It was more than the way he spoke for all the elegance and intelligence in his voice. The crisp accent that gave an added dimension to his words and made Anakin listen all the more attentively to him.

It was more than just the way he carried himself.

Even though he radiated embarrassment over how they had been found – and had yet to pull away from his grandfather – he had a very confident air about him. An air that spoke of the sheer rightness of his position, that said he belonged here. There was no reason to question his place. That he was a Master Jedi at all times and in all situations, no matter how those situations may appear to others.

Looking at him, feeling the weight of his presence in the Force, it was easy to see and understand why this man had been so unusual in during the Clone Wars. Why he’d become known as The Negotiator for there was something in his eyes, in his presence, that spoke of peace and calm. It reached out to embrace him, accepting him as he was for all of his words to the contrary.

Why he had won so many battles without raising his sword as many others had done. Obi-Wan Kenobi was absolutely legendary for pulling off such miracles and marvels as that, for all that he had to resort to the sword occasionally.

But there was something else within him that others lacked. Something more indefinite than the physical attributes and he wondered if others were as aware of it as he was.

Obi-Wan's presence in the Force was pure and absolute luminescence.

Why Jacen wished to follow in Obi-Wan's footsteps as opposed to the more warrior like ones Uncle Luke had taught them, he could see it now as he never could before. For all that his brother could not adequately voice what he was thinking and feeling, it was apparent to Anakin what his brother wished.

“Because as gifted as you are, there are things that you do not know – and must be made aware of. As a new arrival here, you must follow the established order. There are, unfortunately, many rules that still govern our existence here. Rules that you would, even now, be learning about had you taken the proper steps upon arriving and gone through the Jedi Temple.”

“But I wanted to meet my grandfather, not some stodgy old dead Jedi I don't even know about,” he whined. “And he wasn't there. He was here. So, this is where I am. I can't wait to tell Jacen that he owes me credits.”

“Jacen? Credits?” Anakin repeated blankly, having a sickening feeling that he knew exactly where this was going.

Making a bet…it sounded like something he would've done when he was still living if he'd heard even half of the tales that circulated about himself and Obi-Wan. To be honest, he’d been responsible for many of those rumors himself. It was one of the only ways he could give his Master the credit he deserved for much of their successes on the field of battle. It was when they worked together that they did their best work, why was it that no one else but he had gotten it at the time?

But anyway, that was neither here nor there. From past experience, he knew that Obi-Wan was going to be far from pleased.

“Yes,” he repeated, somewhat crossly. “You guys are Skywalker and Kenobi, the team that could never be separated. I'm not blind, even though some may accuse me of such. I know what I see. I could guess from much of what I read. Darth Vader wouldn't have kept all those records if there wasn't something more to the two of you than a mere partnership.”

“Are you telling me,” Obi-Wan said, his voice dangerously quiet, “That you bet with your brother on the exact nature of the relationship that your grandfather and I have? That you have so little regard for the privacy of others that you treat such a deep and lasting bond so lightly? That, instead of trying to learn from our mistakes and our examples, you took the opportunity to gain lucre from us?”

“Well, I didn't think of it that way,” he sheepishly admitted, looking away from those eyes. Uncle Luke had never mentioned how his old friend could shame one with a look. And he wondered if he could learn to do that. "It seemed like just a bit of harmless fun, we weren't hurting anyone."

“Obviously,” Obi-Wan said dryly. “There is nothing harmless in trying to profit off of another's thoughts and feelings, young one. Whether or not they ever learn of it, the flippant ill-regard of others feelings does not reflect well upon you. He is definitely your grandson, Anakin, headless and worthy of your name.”

"Hey!” Anakin protested, staring up at his Master, hurt warring with laughter in his face and eyes. In the end, laughter won the battle. For what other choice was there when Obi-Wan's reassuring love covered him within its warmth and honesty? “You wouldn't have me any other way.”

“Yes, right. That may be true but it is not a good precedence to be setting for your grandchild, now is it?”

“Oh, what's the harm in it?” he shrugged it off, finally deciding that he wanted to stand up to confront his grandson. As comfortable as Obi-Wan's arms were, they were not the best place for a discussion on the questionable facts of his life.

But he didn't move.

“See, it is precisely that careless and flippant attitude that has gotten us into this situation, Anakin. Why is it that you've never learned to think?”

“Like I knew my grand kid would turn out like me.” Anakin pouted, staring at his Master, exasperated with him.

“With your name, how could it be otherwise?”

“Is that such a bad thing?”

Obi-Wan shook his head, “Anakin, you are missing my point.”

“Just returning the favor since you never catch mine,” he quipped. “And I am not. You're saying that I'm a bad example-which is not exactly true.”

“Might I point out your years as the Sith Lord in the black suit of doom?” he asked, dropping a light kiss on his forehead.

“Might I point out who put me there?” he countered, welcoming its warmth.

“Who attacked who first?” There was a slight tightening of Obi-Wan's hug as he asked him that, and a returning warmth of reassuring love from Anakin. Though it was a painful topic, they both knew that it could not be avoided if they were talking about their history - even if it was a playful discussion.

“I seem to recall trying to talk you into leaving Mustafar. Into hiding from all of it, Master. And unless you are planning to go straight to the Jedi Temple, young man, you better not take one more step.” Anakin pinned his grandson into place with a look.

Anakin stared back, slightly miffed at his grandfather for his by the book behavior.

It was not what he expected to find after hearing all about the infamous Anakin Skywalker who was known as The Hero With No Fear. Especially since he knew who he had been in life – and that had not been a law abiding Jedi Knight. He had been something a little more unique, though what he was Anakin hadn't figured it out.

But he knew that it wasn't this man he saw now. Weren't he and his family living proof of that?

"Why are being like this? It's not like you didn't break any rules yourself," he demanded, almost challenging him to deny the truth.

"He's got you there," Obi-Wan muttered, feeling that this position was becoming more than a little absurd. And since Anakin was not doing anything, he nudged him just a little in warning. Pulling away from him to stand up, he extending his hand, he helped his beloved to his feet. "Playing by the rules and following them has never been your forte. If I recall, I had to lecture you many times about it – and you never listened."

"That may be, Master, but considering where it got me, is that a good thing? We still don't know everything about this place. What the limits are – if there are limitations. I don't want to lose him because of a mistake made that could easily have been avoided," he explained, quickly catching him up into a tight hug, not wishing him to go very far.

The secret about them being together was out and his grandson didn't seem upset or unnerved by it. On the contrary, he seemed to be delighted – though whether that was because he had won the bet or thought this was funny had yet to be determined. And as he had resolved earlier, he refused to hide it from him – though he would have to find time to emphasize, in a hospitable manner of course, that he was not to mention it to Luke.

Ever.

Well, at least not until they were ready for him to know.

"Plus, have you ever heard yourself lecture? The way you'd go on and on about some of the most boring things, it's a miracle you didn't talk yourself into a coma – for all that I often wished you would. The only reason I ever stood still long enough for them was because I imagined that I was what you were talking about – in a more positive light. You have no idea how entertaining that could be." The look Obi-Wan shot him clearly said _I have a pretty good idea_.

"Besides," Anakin insisted, before Obi-Wan made a reply. As amusing as it was watching them act like his parents, he didn't like being labeled the troublemaker of the family. He'd done too much to avoid following in his grandfather's footsteps.

Just because he was named after him did not automatically make him his grandfather.

He was Anakin Solo – and he had his own path to follow. One that was not the same as his grandfather had traveled along. He was a different person. "I'm not the trouble maker. That's all Jacen, though Jaina is catching up to him."

"I thought that was your father?" Anakin commented with a smirk.

His grandson scoffed, "I'm not denying it."

"What's Jacen done?" Obi-Wan asked before anything troubling could develop. Two hotheaded Anakins in one place...neither of whom seemed to have an adequate brain to mouth filter…found amusement in his discomfort…who knew what could evolve? With his luck, they would find a way to direct that attention his way and **_he'd_** find himself the source of their teasing. "I hadn't thought your brother such a troublesome young man. A tad misguided a times, but never troublesome."

The young man sighed and scuffed his foot on the ground. "Well, he may not be troublesome. But...he does have his moments when he can be extremely irritating."

"That is what big brothers are for, aren't they?" Obi-Wan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Anakin! I just heard the news. When am I..." Padmé’s voice trailed off as she caught sight of the tall young man with the same blue eyes as her former husband's. "Oh, my," she breathed, clasping her hands together and taking a few steps towards him. "Are you?"

Glancing at his grandfather for some kind of sign of what to do and finding none, he turned back to the woman who resembled his mother. Though there wasn't as striking a resemblance like there was with his grandfather and Uncle Luke – he could see it. It was there in her deep brown eyes that warmed like his mother's and the grace of her walk as she approached him.

For all of this, he did not know what to say to her. He hadn't been prepared to meet anyone else from his family – he hadn't even known it was possible for one who was not a Jedi to be a Force spirit like this. And he wondered what other surprises awaited him.

Even though he was pretty sure he knew who she was, he asked, "I'm sorry, but...who are you?"

Padmé stopped, shock written all over her face as she heard his words. This was something she had never considered. Never dreamed was even possible in a place where the impossible was their reality. That her own flesh and blood would not know who she was instantly. Vulnerable, she looked towards Obi-Wan and Anakin, helplessly asking them for help. Help in bridging this gap between her and this boy who was now part of her heart.

"Anakin, this is your grandmother and my former wife, Padmé Naberrie. Padmé, yes," Anakin nodded, snuggling further into Obi-Wan’s slowly stiffening embrace, wanting him to know that he was welcome to stay. "This is Anakin Solo, your grandson."

"Uh, pleased to met you," Anakin said, shrugging nonchalantly at her and coming to a conclusion about something. “And I think I’d prefer to be called Nikana – it’s your name backwards, sir. This way, I can still honor mom’s choice, but also be my own person.”

He wasn't sure what to make of this woman who stood before him, so he tossed out that inconsequential but vital point as he studied her. He believed his grandfather when he said that she was his grandmother, there was no reason to lie. But...she wasn't like his mother, which he would've thought she would be.

Uncle Luke and his grandfather had several things in common, though he would not lie to himself and say that he hadn’t been looking for someone who resembled his uncle when he’d made his way through the Jedi here. Things that were more than what the eye could see. But this Padmé Naberrie was unexpected, unknown to him. For all the physical resemblances that existed between her and his mother, that was were the connection ended.

Though he tried, more for her sake than his own, he could not find anything but the most superficial of ties. It hurt, he could tell that it hurt her deeply, but there wasn't much he could do about it. This woman, for all her airs of natural authority, lacked the same kind of power his mom inherently had.

Power that had nothing to do with the Force and everything to do with who she was.

His mom would've just introduced herself and not waited for someone to do it for her. The confidence she carried with her wouldn't have allowed her to do anything less. She wouldn't have looked so lost and helpless in the face of this confusion. If fear there had been within her, it would've been hidden away behind the confident air she had.

An air he often emulated when he found himself out of his depths.

"Yes," she softly replied, staring at him with her heart in her eyes. More than anything, she wanted to hug him, embrace him...but he was sending off 'hands off' vibes that one did not need the Force to identify. "It is a pleasure to meet you."

"Perhaps I should leave you alone as this is family time," Obi-Wan murmured, breath tickling Anakin's ear pleasantly.

Anakin shivered in response even as his head shook, noticing the slightly horrified look on his grandson's face. It seemed that he wasn't the only one who found comfort and strength in the presence of his Master – and he sighed, resigned to sharing his beloved with yet another person.

A slightly deprecating smile as he contemplated the strange power his Master possessed over those in the Skywalker family – even his mother was not immune from it. It amused him to no end, watching his Master navigate through these waters for it was a power he was entirely unaware of – and would be humiliated had anyone pointed it out to him.

_At least Palpatine never wanted a piece of my Obi-Wan. He'd have been dead sooner if he had_. He knew this as truth – he finally acknowledged that if he was asked the question ‘ _do you love Obi-Wan Kenobi more than your wife_ ’ today, his answer would be a resounding yes.

It had been then too, but he hadn’t been able to say it.

Now, he could – and he would _never_ stop saying it. "No," he said, feeling a reply was necessary. "I don't think that would be a good idea."

"Anakin," he started to speak, feeling overwhelmed. As much as he wished to stay here, supporting him, he also felt as though he should not be here. This was Anakin's family, the one he had willingly chosen outside of the Jedi. What place did he have in it?

"Master, please. For my sake if not for theirs," he pleaded, gesturing to the tableau before them. "I can't handle this on my own. I need you here."

Sighing, he yielded. "Very well, but you owe me."

A slow smile curled Anakin's lips as he turned his face towards him, "Oh, don't worry, Master. I intend to...repay you well."

End, part 4


	6. Life...Well Afterlife continues with the curious one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: A very angry Anakin.
> 
> Summary: So, Nikana settles into the world of the Force's living dead zone. And things that happen in the real world, sometimes reach out to affect those who are physically gone but not spiritually.
> 
> Author's Note: Does hint at stuff that's happening in the NJO, but not really as far in the future as the books have it. I really wanted it to happen close to – but not right after – Anakin's passing. He truly will be referred to as Nikana in the glow zone to avoid confusion with his grandfather, Anakin.

"So, you do this all the time?" Nikana asked Obi-Wan, watching as he and his grandfather moved in perfect unison, light sabers in their hands. He was fascinated by their moves. In all his years, he'd never seen such complimentary partners – even Jacen and Jaina didn't come close.

And they were twins! "Even though you'll never use them again?"

"Of course," Obi-Wan said, bending down as Anakin twirled his blade over his head. "Disciplining one's mind and body should not cease just because one no longer functions as a viable...Ow."

"Master?" Anakin turned at the softly muttered exhalation.

In all their time doing these battle katas – and that included the living years – he'd never heard Obi-Wan break his stride or his concentration. Not even when they'd been fighting on one of the Outer Rim planets and he'd been pinned by a large section of wall that had pierced his shoulder had he ever heard him say anything more than a ' _concentrate on the moment, Padawan, this is only a temporary pain and will soon pass. It is nothing to be concerned over_.'

Even when that _temporary pain_ had him in the infirmary for a month – and left him under the _generously_ watchful eye of Master Windu.

To this day, he could not think of that moment without shuddering in anger and fear.

Obi-Wan tried to wave him off, acting as though it was nothing. "I'm all right...Ow."

"You are not all right, Master," Anakin contradicted angrily. "What is going on? Who would **_dare_** attack you in the Force?"

His grandson's eyes went wide at the sound, this was the first time he'd even seen his grandfather get **_really_** upset. Even when he'd relentlessly teased him, he'd never gotten mad. He'd gotten revenge, that was true, but he'd never been angry.

"Calm yourself..." he hissed, bringing air in sharply as the unusual pain increased. Wincing, he sat down shakily, "May be you should see if Master Yoda is available."

"I am **_not_** going anywhere, Master," Anakin knelt beside him, furious in his impotency to do anything.

"I'll go," Nikana offered, eager to get away from the darkness that seemed to be clouding up his grandfather's Force signature.

It was downright creepy the way his grandfather had been so calm and quiet – then suddenly, he blazed with a fire hotter than the flames of a volcano. A shiver ran down his spine, tingling his nerves as he slowly moved back, his arms curling about him in an attempt to warm up from the chill he felt.

"Yes, I believe that would be for the..."

" ** _MASTER!_** " The anguished cry of loss ripped through the Force, stunning all who'd been granted a continuance of life there.

************

Jacen sat up, sweat blinding his eyes as he panted in the dark. He felt as though he'd run a marathon under water in record time. Throwing back the now damp covers, he paced the length of the room, turned and paced back again.

He needed to talk to someone – but there was no one there anymore who would listen to him.

No one who would understand the need he had to speak.

Nor bring him back from the ledge he was teetering on.

Dropping to his knees, he buried his head in his arms and shook under the weight of his tears. The dream hurt beyond anything he had ever experienced in all of his years. Only losing his brother came close to what he was feeling.

_Who does one talk to when one doesn't even understand one's own self_?

It was a question he'd often pondered ever since he started having these dreams. For he knew that none of the other Jedi had them – not even his uncle did – and there was none stronger than he. "I wish I had an old Ben here for me like Uncle Luke...well, why don't I? If he can have his own mentor from beyond the grave, so can I."

The Force swirled about him, channeled through him as he bent his thoughts upon gaining the guidance he craved.

A bluish gray glow filled the room and a man who could not have been more than forty appeared in the room.

Jacen lifted his eyes and stared at him. And though he did not look anything like what Uncle Luke described, _he knew this man_.

"Old Ben," he breathed, almost shocked that it had worked. Shocked that it had brought to him the one he wanted to speak with, the only one he felt might be able to understand what was going on with him.

Icy gray eyes met his, almost furious in their intensity. A low voice addressed him, quite cold and sharply precise. "You seem to have quite the advantage over me, young man. And since you were so presumptuous as to bring me out of where I was resting from all my labors, you should also have the common human decency to grant me your own name. But before we do that, I have one request to make of you – if it wouldn't be to much trouble. I ask that you address me as Master Kenobi for we have no close association that would grant you the free use of my name."

His mouth dropped for a moment before closing with a snap. "Yes, sir. I'm Jacen, sir, Jacen Solo," he stammered, unable to take the look in his eyes. Looking down, he missed the softening of the eyes.

Obi-Wan sighed, recognizing him now, and stepped closer, kneeling down beside the boy. Pity warred with compassion for the young boy's obvious pain. What was it with these Skywalkers that they could bring out in him a compassion that he rarely had for others so quickly? "What is it that has caused you to seek council from a dead man, young Jacen?"

"I'm scared of what's in my head," he whispered, almost leaning towards him. "And without Anakin I have no one to talk to who will listen to me without reservation. Not my Uncle Luke, not my sister, not even my mom – I just want someone to hear me." It ended on a wail.

A wail that painfully reminded Obi-Wan of another lost voice, ' _will you ever see me as more than an apprentice, as a Padawan? Will you never see what I need most from you? That I just need you_?'

"Do you want a quotidian Jedi answer from the days that I knew?" he asked rhetorically, almost as if warning him that his answer would not be what he sought. "I would tell you that you are not made to carry more or less than you are capable of. You were born with the ability to carry the Force within you, no matter how strong or, yes, how scary it can be. Trust in the Force. For all the myriads of ways she may seem to betray you, she will never let you down. Other than saying that to you, the words I have will do you little good. I do not understand the way that you were raised. I am at a loss on how to best help you."

"I just don't understand myself," he whispered.

' _I don't understand what's going on with me, Master. It feels as though I am torn in two different directions – and you are the only light I have to guide me safely through_."

Obi-Wan didn't know what to do now, the same as then. And yet, there was something he had wanted to do – but never thought that it was the proper course of action. His thoughts had seemed to lead him towards a non-Jedi action. In the here and now, though, it was the only option he really had available to him.

With a sigh, he drew inside of himself for a moment, then nodded resolutely. He just hoped that Anakin would understand why he had to do this. If he ever got back to him...he stopped that thought instantly, unable to contemplate any kind of life without him somewhere beside him. He had lived without him once. To do so again, to even think of doing so, was anathema to him. "Then speak to me, young one. Speak what is on your mind and I shall listen to you, without reserve and withholding judgment upon your actions and words."

************

" ** _Where is he_**?" Anakin demanded, face livid with fury. " ** _What did you do with him_**?" he yelled, whirling about and staring at the young man who was in the room with him. " ** _Obi-Wan was safe until you came to us. What did you do_**?" Though irrational, he knew that whatever had happened to his Master had something to do with his grandson.

It just had to.

The young man stepped back, shaking in the face of the man he thought he'd come to know. The face of the man he'd quickly come to love and adore for his sense of humor and easy affection that just flowed off of him in effortless waves. For his unashamed love for his Master, a love that was far more abiding than any he'd ever know to exist in all of life.

Even his parents' love for each other did not come close to this utter devotion Anakin had for Obi-Wan.

Yet, now the face was new. It was one that he did not know. That he could hardly recognize as the one he'd seen just moments before. The deep blue eyes that spoke of love and home were menacing, shaded in pale reds and yellows as they were now. "I...I didn't do anything with him. I swear, I didn't do anything."

"Anakin," his mother's voice cut through the haze clouding his mind with a calm sternness. "It is not your grandson's fault. Take a step back and think about it. Who would gain anything from taking Obi-Wan from you? You know as I do that there is no one for Sidious has ceased to be. And any acolyte of his would not bother with Obi-Wan, not thinking that he could possibly still be alive somehow and ignore the pain that Luke is in. What would he wish you to do?"

With visible effort, Anakin drew in a deep breath and closed his eyes. "He'd want me to think, to trust in the Force, to listen to what it has to tell me." It didn't occur to him to wonder why she was there – or how she had known she was needed.

It was enough that she was there.

"Then perhaps you should do so," she counseled.

"Right," he muttered and turned away, ashamed of his actions. Turning back, he met the suddenly shy eyes of his grandson. The way the boy seemed to shrink into himself. He winced, recalling quite a few times when he’d seen that look in someone’s eyes because of him. "Nikana, I'm sorry. I should not have acted that way. There really is no justification for how I behaved," he added, seeing a look in his eyes that reminded him of Obi-Wan.

The boy's mouth opened and closed a few times before he found words, "I forgive you. I'd do the same thing," he added, knowing better than to try to hide away from that truth. "May I help you? Two Skywalkers may be what this job needs." For he, like his grandfather, could feel that it had something to do with him.

Or rather, one of his grandchildren.

And he had a sinking feeling that he knew who it was.

End, part 5


	7. He has...oh, dear.  That bad feeling I had has just increased to terror, thank you very much.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Anakin Solo seeks aid before his grandfather goes all Sith – and the Galaxy reels under the influence of a very powerful, very potent, very real, - and very pissed off - Sith Force Spirit.

Luke felt the ripple in the Force seconds before it knocked him out. As he went down into the haze of darkness, he could hear the shattering cries of Force sensitive beings the whole Galaxy over as one by one they fell unconscious under the oppressive wave of anger and wretchedness that cataclysmically rent the Force in twain.

It felt vaguely familiar to him – as though the touch was one he should know all to well.

***

Han sat by Leia’s bed, holding her hand as he had since she had inexplicably fallen into this deep sleep a week earlier. There was no obvious reason for it – and the scary thing was, she was not the only one affected by it. His endless calls to Luke had not been returned by his brother-in-law at all. Nor had it been Luke’s wife or son that had finally answered his calls.

No, it had been a droid.

And while he had nothing against them, it was terribly frightening to be cut off from the one person who may be able to explain why the whole entirety of those who possessed the Force lay in various states of sleep, some more comatose than others. Especially when the droid who answered was not one that Han was familiar with.

Han did not like this mystery.

He did not like the feeling that something had happened to his wife and daughter that could not be easily explained and fixed and all he could do was sit and wait. That he could not reach Jacen or any other member of his family to ask just what was going on with them, troubled him - even a snide comment from Mara would be welcomed. But there was nothing from those who knew and used, who taught and lived the Force's teachings.

Well, there was Winter but she had no clue to what happened. Thankfully she had arrived to help him care for Leia and Jaina because he was running himself ragged trying to care for them, though he would gladly do it for Leia was his love. And Jaina was his daughter - stubborn to a fault, but she was his little girl.

Yet, this whole situation reeked of Force weirdness. It bothered him more than he could say that he felt a familiar sort of presence in the air whenever he forced his attention away from what was happening to his family.

There was something almost vaguely menacing about the air – it was almost like the feel that used to be in the Galaxy when the Sith's power had started to reveal itself more, as when Darth Vader had been at his full strength and power. When they had all been under the thrall of the powerful Sith Emperor and his myriads of dark side users. There was a strangely potent feel to the atmosphere that spoke of great anger – and suffering so deep it brought tears to Han’s eyes.

And that thought caused him to shudder with more than distaste – a new Sith in power was not what they needed right now that they had formed an uneasy alliance with the Yuuzhan Vong.

“Honey, now would be a good time to wake up and reassure me,” he murmured, squeezing her lax hand, desperate for some comfort from her.

As usual, there was no reply.

It was beginning to frustrate him with every second that passed.

“ _Mom. Mom!_ ” The call was more insistent the second time, an underlining of panic in it. Panic that grew as the speaker realized how little time he actually had to pass along his message.

Shaking her head a little to clear it, she forced herself to ignore the pain as she taught herself to, to turn inside of the vortex of pain that held her captive in inertia. “ _Anakin?_ ” she asked, voice disbelieving as she stared at her son. Her beautiful son glowed within the corona that was the Force. He looked…impossibly peaceful. “ _I…I don’t understand. How can you be here? General Kenobi told Luke that this was no longer possible._ ”

“ _Well, it’s not supposed to be. It all has to do with dreams – which is neither here nor there, mom. The important thing is Jacen_.”

“ _Jacen_?” she questioned, afraid. “ _What about him? Is he here to?_ ” She urgently looked about.

“ _No. But he’s gone and done something incredibly stupid - and you have got to get him to let Ben go before grandfather breaks free from the Force and comes after him_.”

“ _What? What are you talking about?_ ”

“ _I don’t have time to explain, mom. They have rules that forbid even this kind of communication. All I know is you’ve got to get Jacen to let Ben go or Vader is going to make a return to the Galaxy. And even Uncle Luke’s love and belief in the good within him will be enough to stop his rage._ ”

“ _Ben? You mean General Kenobi? Jacen has General Kenobi…oh, dear_.”

“ _I knew you would understand, mom. You’re about the only one I know who could. I tried to see and tell Uncle Luke – but his mind is too blocked up with pain and visions of agony that it was just impossible for me to try to talk to him. Besides, grandfather and Ben don’t want him to know about them. I mean, they plan to tell him - just not right now. And you do know about them. I’ve got to go, there’s this really tall and scary Jedi here who goes on about the rules and the importance of following them._ ” He rolled his eyes, thinking of him. “ _That’s not to say that Master Windu is not a nice guy – no, I have to be honest. He scares me. He really does_.”

“ _Is he cruel?_ ”

“ _Nah. Not Master Windu – Master Billaba won’t let him. But he is rather rigid and hard nosed when it comes to rules and following them – even when doing so is so utterly ridiculous, it’s pure insanity. I don’t know how any of them managed to stay in their right minds under that kind of strain_.”

“ _Anakin. Are you happy_?” Leia didn’t really want to ask – she was afraid of his answer. Afraid that what he would say would tear into her heart, making her weep all over for him again. Or that he would be so miserable, she would be angry at those who’d caused it and want to see them pay for what they did to him. And she knew the danger of such thoughts, of where they could lead.

“ _When grandfather isn’t unhappy and I’m not hiding from grandmother, I’m great. There is so much to do and see and I can watch over you all, sending my love your way. Of course, Ben is a wonderful teacher and I understand so much that I never did before. As much as I think Uncle Luke knows about the Force, it just isn’t the same as learning it from a Master Jedi like Ben, you know?_ ”

“ _I would guess that is true,_ ” she slowly agreed, “ _But are you truly happy where you are?_ ”

“ _Mostly. I miss you guys and I really wish I could be there for Jacen. He’s so lost and alone, surrounded by something that I can’t quite describe, I really hate that he feels so misplaced. But…it was my time to go_.”

“ _Then I shall say no more. I love you_ ,” she whispered, feeling fire ignite her nerve endings as she forced herself away from her beloved son. She had lain dormant for far too long as it was, she could feel Han’s love and worry reaching out to her.

“ _I love you, mom_ ,” he called after her.

Opening her eyes, she smiled weakly at Han. “Get me up from here, you scoundrel. There’s work that must be done. Where’s Jacen?”

Shocked that she was awake – and coherent, Han automatically did as she ordered. Winter handed him a cup of water. He gently held her head as she drank, giving her the news as he watched her. “I don’t know. He, like Luke and the rest of the Jedi, are not answering any calls from anyone. There’s been a total black-out among the Jedi. No one seems to know what caused it – or how to fix it.”

Just then, the communicator bleeped and Luke’s voice – painfully weary and overtired – was heard as 3PO walked into the room, placing the communicator down without a word. “ _Hey, guys. I just got your message, Han. I’m sorry that I wasn’t able to call you earlier_.”

“That’s okay, kid. Leia just woke up. What’s going on?”

“ _I don’t know, Han. I really wish I did. I’m so tired and weak, I can barely speak to you right now_.”

“Then why don’t you rest and call us later?”

“ _Only wish that I could, it would make trying to solve this problem easier. But I can’t._ _I’ve got several messages to go through – and some of them are from the Yuuzhan Vong. We aren’t the only ones being affected by this massive Force shortage. It has completely totaled Zonama Sekot_.”

“That’s not good,” Han muttered.

Leia was silent and looked away, struck by an absolutely terrifying thought. Darth Vader – who was in reality, the hero Jedi Knight Anakin Skywalker – was far more than what he seemed.

How was it possible that he could be so much more? How could it possibly be possible that her father was this powerful? Powerful enough to knock out an entire Galaxy of Force sensitives and a planet whose very essence was the Force and no one know it?

Leia became aware of Luke watching her and wished with all her soul that she could tell him what was happening. But those she teasingly referred to as the elders had not given her permission to do so and she did not want to upset them – at least, not quite yet.

Besides, there was the fact that Luke was living in total denial when it came to Obi-Wan and Anakin.

End, part 6


	8. I brought him into this world.  I will take him out of it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Anakin Skywalker cuts through the red tape holding him back and heads for the Republic. And the Galaxy reels under the influence of a very powerful, very potent, very real Sith Force Spirit.

Nikana opened his eyes, meeting the furious red gold of his grandfather’s. As much as it pained him, he was beginning to get used to that pissed off, Sithly look he wore almost all the time now. The more time Obi-Wan was away from him, that not a trace of his presence was found within the Force, the more Nikana feared what was going to ensue for his grandfather was definitely showing more and more signs of Darth Vader.

Breathing in the very currents about the man, he could feel these dark changes that were occurring in the Force. Something was going to transpire and it was all going to be his grandfather’s doing. Shadows were rising, swirling about them, unchecked and untamed.

He feared that his grandfather was going to resurrect Sith spirits on a grander scale than even the Sith themselves could have predicted.

“Well?” he growled.

Meeting that gaze head on, Nikana shrugged. “Mom just woke up, she’ll talk to Jacen. When they find him,” he muttered under his breath.

“What did you say?”

Nikana blinked, shocked. No matter how quietly he spoke, his words had been heard. Heard, even if the meaning behind them was not understood. His grandfather was relentless in his pursuit and the boy was beginning to see just why he’d been so feared in life.

Like the true warrior he was, he analyzed everything-and pounced on any flaw he found in his opponent. Pounced upon that flaw with an unremitting, driving force that would not be denied or hidden. “Jacen seems to be…missing,” he reluctantly replied.

“Missing? Missing how?” he insistently pressed him. “How does one lose a Force sensitive in the Force? Especially one who is attached to the son of Luke and Mara Jade Skywalker? No offense to your father but his lack of Force sensitivity makes you the lesser of my grand kids when it comes to the Force. Ben Skywalker is a young boy who could have been a rival to me at that age, though most of his strength comes from his greater control.”

“I...I don’t know. Vergere learned how to do it,” he stopped, surprised by his grandfather’s deadly white face at the mention of the Fosh, “What is it?” The question came even though he was sure that he did not want to know the answer to his question.

“Vergere,” the very way he said it – layered so deeply with revulsion and hatred – caused his grandson to shiver and step back. He did not care. That name brought back memories of his time under Sidious – unpleasant ones. “She laid a hand on your brother? Was close enough to him that he may have learned things from her?”

“Yes. It was because of her that Jacen survived his Yuuzhan Vong captivity.”

“And I suppose none of you thought that perhaps her time in their captivity could’ve changed her in some manner?” he sneeringly questioned. Vergere – the Jedi Knight who had left with the mysterious invaders of Zonama Sekot and then contacted Sidious years later under less than pleasant circumstances. Oh, yes. He was beginning to see the influence of his former dark Master in this. It reeked of the man’s infamous back up schemes if any of his other plans failed.

Anakin Skywalker did not like where his thoughts lead him.

“Don’t blame me for this. It’s not like we ever had experience with hidden Dark Force users before. We have never faced a true Sith before. All we’ve ever really had to deal with are possessed Jedi who find their way back into the light. And knowing more about the ways of the Force than we do didn’t help you any did it? You still believed Sidious over what you actually knew to be truth.” Nikana fired back, glaring at his grandfather. He was not going to be bullied about this, like their not knowing about Vergere was his fault.

He just wasn’t.

“One would’ve thought that my own folly would’ve taught you something,” he acidly retorted, not impressed at all.

“Right,” the young man drawled, almost insolently, “Because we have so much knowledge of what really happened to the Old Republic at our fingertips. The only story we have is Ben’s – and in that, he blames himself for your fall and the destruction of the Jedi Order utterly. Are you saying that it really is his fault?”

“In my arrogance and pride, my hurt and rage, I believed that it was his fault. I blamed him for years for what happened to me. But I know better now. I know for a fact that I am at fault. I, and I alone, made the choice to follow Sidious. I allowed his lies and friendship to blind me into thinking that I had no other choice. That in order to save the ones I loved, I must become his apprentice. I would have to become a Sith. Blast the man for his stubborn obstinacy. If I didn’t love him so much, I’d smack him for circulating such a horrendously self defeating lie around.”

“What are you going to do?” Nikana asked, very aware of the strange glow in his grandfather’s eyes. It was different from the look of the Sithly eyes he’d been seeing so often lately. The look did not sit well with him for it reminded him of his mother’s and how she’d get deadly quiet and focused on something before all hell broke loose.

“First, I am going to see Luke and rectify the mistaken belief that it was Obi-Wan’s fault that I fell. I am not denying that he played an important role in why I fell – and that he could have saved me,” he started to explain.

“Why didn’t he?” he asked, intrigued by these words. Now that they had been spoken, the young boy found himself puzzled over the reasons for Obi-Wan’s inability to help his best friend – even though he loved him.

“Because he didn’t know how to,” he replied simply, having finally come to understand that truth after years of struggling with the question. “While you may consciously understand how and what the Jedi of the Old Republic were taught because of the information Luke found, you do not know how they truly lived. You do not know of the doctrine that dominated their lives – other than that Sith begotten Code which should’ve been thrown out and forgotten for it only ever caused pain and shame within the Order for no one could truly abide by its demeaning and exacting principles of repression and imbalance – not even Master Yoda.”

“Then why have it?”

Anakin closed his eyes in thought, a soft smile crossing his lips. His grandson’s question reminded him of all the times he’d asked Obi-Wan the same thing. The remembrance of the flush on his Master’s face brought peace to him. “Oh, how did Obi-Wan teach it to me when I asked him the same question? He said…what was it? Something about how the Code was created as a standard for the Jedi to live by. It is a guide on how to know whether we are listening to the light side of the Force as opposed to the Dark Side. If we are in the light, we should feel peace, serenity. We should be able to understand the hidden mysteries for they would be clear to our perception - and accept death’s place in life’s never ending cycle. On the other hand, if we feel passion that overrides us, emotion that blinds us, cannot let go of our fear, or find the path to understanding blocked, then we are not where we should be. We have yielded to the Dark Side.”

“That makes no sense whatsoever,” Nikana flatly commented, looking at his grandfather, subtly challenging his words. It wasn’t that he wanted to pick a fight with him but the young man just could not figure out just why – and how – such a Code came to be. “How can anyone believe in such a…such a dichotomized Code? It’s demoralizing and damaging to a person. It divorces a being from its own self by setting it at war against their own nature. No one could possibly live up to such a standard.”

“When one has been taught this Code every day of their life, it is not so hard to believe.”

“It’s still the dumbest thing I ever heard,” he insisted. The stubborn pride of his parents flared to life and he clung tenaciously to his opinion for he was right in this matter. He knew he was.

“I agree with you. But there is some…”

_Anakin? Beloved_?

_Master? Obi-Wan. How are you? Where are you_? The relief was palpable in his voice as he responded to the mental cry, wishing nothing more than to be near him. _I miss you so much_.

_I…I don’t know, beloved. But I know that I do not have much time. Please, be careful – and be mindful of your feelings. There is something that you do not know about Jacen. He…he isn’t right in his mind. I…I don’t know when I’ll be able to_ …

_Master?!?! Don’t go. Please, don’t leave me again_!

Silence was his only reply.

Anakin disappeared, leaving his grandson standing in the shadows that deepened the Force’s once bright hues.

Leia jumped, startled. “Father,” she greeted him, quaking only slightly at the murderous look on his face.

“Where is he?” he demanded, not bothering to reply to her greeting.

“We don’t know,” she answered, knowing without question who he referred to.

“Don’t know? Or won’t tell?”

Her brown eyes narrowed, flashing angrily. It was a look eerily reminiscent of his own. “Don’t take that tone of voice with me, I will not have it – father of mine or not. You cannot come into my home and accuse me of hiding Jacen from you as though I were a willing accomplice in his crimes. I would **_never_** hide him from you or anyone – especially since he seems hell bent on following you down the dark road of destruction – I brought him into this world and I will take him out if he thinks that I will allow him to destroy all that we have worked and sacrificed to rebuild and restore. **_Don’t_ _you dare accuse me of being culpable in his crimes_**.”

Anakin would not apologize, though he knew he probably should. After all he did to try to gain a relationship with his daughter, he should not slight her now. He just couldn’t bring himself to care at the moment. All he wanted was for Obi-Wan to safe – in his arms once again. “Fine, you don’t know. I believe that. Do you know where he might be?”

“Father?” Luke asked, stunned to see them. His blue eyes were wide as he stood in the doorway, pale and shaken. Having felt Leia’s unease, he had come as quickly as he could, thinking that she was in some danger that he could not feel. As the invasion had brought about some weapons that could blind sight a Jedi, it was not impossible. “I thought…”

“Not now, Luke. That idiot grandson of mine has taken Obi-Wan from me and **_I want him back. Now_**!”

“It’s no use looking for him in the Force. I can’t find him – even using our twin bond. It’s like he’s…gone from us.” Jaina said. She slumped wearily against her father’s shoulder as the two walked in behind Luke.

She looked pale and worn out to Anakin’s eyes when he took a moment to study her. It was almost as if…she was being drained of her energy. Drained…again, there was that reminder of the Emperor and his wily ways.

Gritting his teeth together for he did not want to finish that thought, Anakin barely managed to stop himself from lambasting them all for this stupidity. It still took all his control to ask calmly – for him anyway. “Has he ever done anything like this before?”

“No,” Ben quietly said, flinching when his grandfather whirled about to stare at him. Those eyes were almost inhuman in grief and anger. He had been sitting in a chair, forgotten in all of the commotion. Though he quailed under the look, he knew that he had to speak up. He was the only one who had spent any time with Jacen after he’d become…erratic. “In all the time I’ve spent with him as apprentice, he’s never done anything like this before. All of his behavior has been proper, as a Jedi should be. The only time I can think of when we couldn’t find him was when he was captive.”

“Who do I have to talk to in order to find out what happened to him there?” he demanded, tiring quickly of this runaround. This was why he always left these matters to Obi-Wan. He had more patience to deal with a seemingly eternal evasion to simple questions. All he wanted were answers – why did they not understand that?

“No one,” Luke replied, shaking himself sternly. This was not the time for him to give in to the urge to hide away from what he did not want to know. Right now, his father needed him. Ben needed him. And, quite possibly, the entire Galaxy would need him to do what others could not – return Anakin to himself.

But as he stared at his father, answering as quietly and firmly as he could, he wondered if that was possible any longer. There was a sense that his father was slipping firmly away from them – and not even he could stop it. He wondered if anyone could. “Anyone who would know is either dead – or does not remember.”

“What about Tahiri?” Ben suggested. “She was shaped – or changed if you will – with a Vong personality. She might know something about what happened to him.”

“And she’s where?” Anakin demanded to know. It was not a question, they all knew this. He had stopped asking questions long ago.

“Zonama Sekot,” Luke answered for his son. “But you can’t just suddenly appear and demand answers from her, father. It just isn’t done.”

“When Obi-Wan’s in danger, I make my own rules.” His smile – when it came – was rather animalistic and full of intent.

Han nearly laughed but held his tongue at a warning look from Leia. She had told him about the elders, legends in Alderanian mythology, who protected all and had guided those chosen into remaining after death had come to them. Though he was all for letting Luke know the truth, she was quite firm in her belief that learning about his father was something that Luke had to discover for himself.

And while she knew that he had some recollection of just who and what Kenobi and Skywalker meant, she did not know just how much he remembered. It had been a long time in coming, this calling up of memories he’d thought long gone. But the memories he’d suppressed from his earlier years had only been waiting patiently. Somehow, he’d never really given up on his faith in heroes. A faith justified by Luke, he now felt.

Of course, it helped that he could see Anakin as he once was. Seeing him now, he knew who he was. And the words he spoke were blatantly hilarious.

Making his own rules…that was putting it mildly. The reformed smuggler could recall hundreds of times when the infamous Anakin Skywalker had blown off a system because his Master had been in trouble on the other side of the Galaxy.

Yes, they had always returned and managed to save that system, but still…it was his personal opinion that that was precisely why the Jedi Council had made them partners and rarely – if ever – split them up.

It saved them time and kept the press good when they didn’t have a Jedi blowing off innocent lives to save one man.

Not that the press ever had anything bad to say about Skywalker and Kenobi, he cynically thought. The two Jedi Knights had been the darlings of the holo-net and the Republic. It helped that they could back up their claims to greatness but still…the adoration was rather disgusting.

And, of course, his own brush with fame left him empathetic (however unwillingly) with their own plight.

End, part 7


	9. How it ends with a new beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin Skywalker finally gets the answers he seeks.

Obi-Wan sighed as he opened his eyes. Under normal circumstances, such a small amount of communication should _not_ have left him feeling weaker than a kitten. But these were hardly what one could call normal circumstances.

Glancing over at the bed where the young boy – for he could not think of him as a man – rested fitfully, he couldn’t help the softening in his eyes. As much as everything he heard Jacen tell him repulsed him, he could not stop feeling sorry for the boy.

Obviously, the legacy of the Skywalker family was quite harsher than anyone believed.

Somehow, that potential to slip into the shadows ensnared them all at one point. Could there be more to this than just having an extra-ordinary amount of Force sensitivity? Could Sidious have been honestly giving them real facts when he spoke of Anakin’s birth? Was it possible that it was through a Sith Lord’s manipulations that Anakin had been conceived? Was that why his beloved seemed so torn at times? Why he felt more than beings did? And if Sidious’ words were the truth, was the Force trying to right the wrong by getting rid of the wrongly born family for all that they were loved?

Everything within Obi-Wan shuddered away from such a thought.

Not only did it contradict what he knew of the Force, it left him with several unanswerable questions. If this was truth – that the Force was trying to purge the error, where did that leave a man like him? A man who was born as a Force light, a child of mortal parents who had a strange heritage from outside the known Galaxy, a reality he’d only recently come to know.

A gasping cry of anguish caught his ear and he turned towards the young man on the too large bed. Tears streamed down his face and he seemed to be mouthing words that Obi-Wan could not understand. Not for the first time did he wish that he could do more than just offer a listening ear to Jacen for what the boy needed was a comfort that he simply could not offer for it was not within his power.

Jacen’s eyes slowly fluttered open and he stared at him. Really stared at him, confused and startled. It was almost as though he couldn’t comprehend why Obi-Wan was there in his room with him. What reason he was there – and then memory returned to him, fast and hard. For a brief moment, there was lucidity and truth in his eyes and they widened in horrified awe. It was as though he was seeing – _truly seeing_ – for the first time what he had wrought with his impulsive choice.

Then they were shuttered and he closed them, uselessly turning away from Obi-Wan’s look for it rested upon him anyway. Rising after a moment of tossing and turning, unable to contain his restless energy, he began to pace the room.

“I know what you want,” he began conversationally, as though this was an every day occurrence. “You want to leave me alone.”

“I see no reason to stay where I have no actual use to anyone,” he conceded, warily watching him. “There is nothing that I can do for you other than be a confessor. And you have little need of that, Jacen. You already know what you should.”

That strange feeling of knowing what was wrong was back – stronger than ever and it ate away at his consciousness. It nagged at him, this memory. Staring at the bundle of dark energy the boy had become, he recalled the feel of Asajj Ventress when she was nervously anticipating a message from Dooku. The boy reeked of the Force’s darker aspects, something he made no effort to hide nor contain.

“Oh, yes. Use,” the way he said reminded Obi-Wan of the way one would utter a curse. The word was spat out in the space between them and he met the Master’s eyes, defiantly. “Use – what a pitiful word. What a pitiful way to live one’s life. I cannot understand why you always strove to be of use. There’s always been something sharper, something much more to you than being a loyal lapdog to the Jedi Order, to the Republic.

“To be of some worth. It was always something that you strove for, wasted your talents chasing after such a futile dream. And even now, you still chase after it. You still wish to be of some use, to be valued, even though you are dead. You would have been more useful to us during the war, the invasion.” His voice was bitter, biting.

“Do you have any idea what we suffered because we did not understand what was happening to us? You would have better served us had you not failed my grandfather,” he snarled, whirling away again, his steps angry and jerky as he moved.

Then he stumbled back, shaking under some strain. Trembling uncontrollably – as though he was in pain. Fighting a war within himself that he could not win, could not understand. Hands fisted in his hair, he knelt on the ground, pulling and ripping out clumps of his hair.

His fingers pressed into his scalp, scrapping against it. Blood broke free under his constant attacks, trickling down the pale face. To Obi-Wan’s perception, it was like he was trying to claw free of his own skin in an endeavor to succeed – or kill himself in the attempt.

The words he cried out then were startling, surprising. Confusing in light of his actions, his previous words. “ _Make it stop, Master Kenobi! Just make it stop and go away_!”

“Make what stop?” he asked, almost pleaded to know. Obi-Wan couldn’t figure out what had just happened – Jacen sounded like such a child now. There was a sense of innocence now that had not been inside of him before. Gone was the proudly defiant adult who spoke so angrily of the perceived failures of Obi-Wan and the other Jedi. In his place was a child, just a small boy who couldn’t save himself from his own night terrors.

“ _Him. Please, just shut him up. I can’t do it anymore. He won’t listen to me_.” His eyes flashed over to where he waited, a quiet desperation there. “ _Stop him_.”

“Who?” Obi-Wan pleaded, rising at last to wrap the shaking boy into an embrace.

Jacen latched onto him, desperately clinging to him. Tears ran down his cheeks as he cried despairingly, “ _Sidious. He’s here. He’s always been here_.”

Instinctively, Obi-Wan’s arms tightened about him, as though doing so could keep Sidious away from Jacen.

Would prevent the Sith Lord from haunting the boy, from taking over his mind – _his_ _soul_ – again. It was a futile attempt and Obi-Wan knew it – admitted it and still, he tried to help him fight this battle. Quietly, he rocked the boy back and forth, trying to calm him even as he told him, “Jacen, I am not the one who can do that. That power and strength is not mine. It never has been. You need your grandfather. You need Anakin.”

Jacen curled tighter into him, breathing in the unique scent of peace that bathed Obi-Wan so completely, it was foreign to think of it as a separate thing. It seemed as though peace could not be truly experienced until this man brought it to you. “ _I can’t_ ,” he whispered, a sound so broken it tore into Obi-Wan’s soul. “ _After what I did to you, he would never help me_.”

Though he agreed for he knew there was truth in his words, Obi-Wan also knew that he was not enough to help this tortured young man escape Sidious’ grasp. It was something of a miracle he’d managed to make it this far without suffering more grievously. Without completely losing himself to Sidious and his poison – but it was not enough and the boy had already accepted that this was so.

He just had to find the courage to ask and accept help from the only one who could help him. “Jacen, I wish that I could say that you are wrong – but I cannot. But this I do know – Anakin **_is_** the only one who can save you from Sidious.”

A bitter, hollow chuckle escaped the trembling boy, his grip even more desperate. He moved in closer – as though he was trying to crawl inside Obi-Wan’s skin. “ _Am I to trust my fate to a man who will hate me on sight for taking you from his side_?”

“No. You are to trust the man who has defeated Sidious before. You are to trust the man who has been where you are – is the only one who can understand your confusion. For all my empathy, I cannot understand nor help you like he can. If you cannot bring yourself to trust in him, trust in me. Anakin can be…impetuous and scarily decisive about his own beliefs but he is unswervingly loyal to those he calls friend and family. He would never deny help to one who needs it.”

Jacen wanted to believe him. With all his soul, he wanted to believe him. But…but...that was always the silent condition that thrummed in his veins.

Obi-Wan felt the change in him and quickly backed away as the boy looked at him, pure malevolence in his eyes. “So kind of you to try to gain an escape by clouding my mind. Do you honestly think that your Jedi tricks would work upon me?”

“I used no tricks on him – or you. That is not my way as you know full well, Sidious.”

The lips thinned and the eyes narrowed, “So, the boy told you.”

“You knew he would,” Obi-Wan replied, arms crossing his chest as though it was of no significance to him that he stood in the presence of the Sith Lord who had robbed the Galaxy of its rightful heritage and path. As though standing in the same room with the man who had destroyed his beloved and his world was not killing him.

“I did not know,” he testily replied. “Stop trying to outwit me, you worthless Jedi scum, I am far more than you will ever be.”

“And yet, you have to steal another’s life in order to continue to live while I continue to do so without having to resort to common thievery,” Obi-Wan pointed out.

“Thievery? I am merely making use of a body that would have wasted away under the Jedi influence. Now, this boy is living a much better life.”

“Better how? By being a slave to your whims? By hiding away from his family? No matter how you dress it up, you are only a thief and shall never have what you want. You know this full well.”

“Shut up.”

“Truth hurt?” he queried, leaning back to stare at him curiously. “All that you have ever gained or won has been on someone else’s merits. Rarely have they been something that you have done yourself for you are a coward.”

“I said,” he said through gritted teeth, “Shut up.”

“A thief and a coward, not much of a life if you ask me.”

Lightening flew from Jacen’s hands, electrifying the air about Obi-Wan. Thousands of pinpricks of pain smashed into the Jedi but he held firm, only letting a tiny grimace of pain show upon his face. “And now you hide from the truth. Tell me, Sidious, if the Sith Lords are so powerful, why do they fear the truth so much? Why do they fear the light? Surely it cannot be because they know the truth,” he taunted. “That the light will eventually cast out all darkness in the end no matter how strong that darkness may seem.”

“Do you never listen?” he asked, intensifying his attack.

“When there is something worth listening to, I would. But you words are merely repetitious and hold no meaning for me,” he replied, jerking. Without conscious thought, he reached out and found a crack in Sidious’ shields to the outside world. _Anakin_! The mental call pierced through the fog that clouded the Force and Obi-Wan hoped it would be enough.

***

Anakin looked at Tahiri and shook his head, dismissing the girl from his presence. “You cannot be of any help to me. Why is it that every single Jedi in this New Order is as ineffectual as the Old Jedi were?”

“We are trying,” Luke defended himself, rather softly. He was still reeling from the sudden appearance of Zonama Sekot. The planet was peacefully orbiting the world – because his father had reached out into the Force and asked it to come to him. Such an act was startling to say the least.

With every moment spent in his father’s presence, he was beginning to understand one simple truth – he was incredibly powerful. Far more powerful than he had seemed in life. In the back of his mind, he wondered just how powerful his father would have been had he not been hurt in the battle with Ben.

If he had not been a Sith and just lived in the light, would he have been this strong?

Or was this merely because he had died and become pure energy? “It’s not as easy as it looks, father. Don’t you remember anything from working in the Empire? From trying to build it up from the remains of the Republic? How much you had to do before you could do something?”

“No,” he baldly said. “For one thing, Sidious had almost had the Empire in place when the fall came. As for my own tasks, I did what I normally did. If I wanted something done and I was blocked, I turned it over to my secretary. Or I killed the obstacle. It didn’t matter which it was as long as I finished my task. Of course, Sidious frowned on killing to many people.”

“Sidious was against killing?” Leia asked skeptically. “That doesn’t sound like him. Was it not he who authorized the Jedi Purge?”

“He didn’t mind killing – as long as it did not cost him time, money, or his own forces. He really did not care to lose his advantage that way,” Anakin shrugged, almost carelessly as he answered her queries. Really, dredging up such memories was not fun. Not only that, but it did not bring him any closer to finding Obi-Wan.

Mara Jade snorted, “Sounds like him, Vader.”

His eyes rolled slowly towards her and he walked over, towering over her. With a control he was surprised he still had, he said, “That name is no longer my own. I am Anakin – you would do well to remember that Mara Jade Skywalker for I know the truth of you and what lies you have told in order to assuage your own conscience. I know that you refuse to fully accept any culpability in what you did for Sidious – and that it is weakening you. You do not even understand why this would be so, but I do.”

“You have no right to judge me for my actions, Vader. I am living a good life – there was no death bed conversion to the light for me.”

“Ah, but because of who I am and what I have done and lived through, I do have the right to judge you,” he softly said. “I know what it is like to serve Sidious. I know what it’s like to have thousands of lives in my hands and make the decision on whether they should live or die. I understand what it is like to have power, influence, wealth, all at my fingertips – all of it just waiting for me to make the decision of what to do with it. Further more, I understand in a way that you do not just what it means to really choose for love. You did not choose for yourself. That choice was thrust upon you.”

_Anakin_.

The faint call came and Anakin instantly dove into the Force, following the call with all that he was. In the room, the others were forgotten as they saw his face go blank, slack. His body became stiller than they’d ever seen it – yet, there was a sense that he was more active in that moment than they could possibly guess.

A shout of triumphant laughter escaped him with a beaming smile. “Obi-Wan Kenobi, only you would be so bold.”

“What is it?” Leia asked curiously.

“I know where he is – and I am going to get him. Thank you for your…attempts to help me. I do appreciate them,” he bowed.

Han smirked, “Give the old man a kiss for us, okay?”

A slow smile curled his face as he faded from sight, not seeing the way Luke blanched and stared at Han, a horrified look on his face. If he had, he might’ve wondered at the slightly mischievous look in his eyes. “What did you say?” he gasped.

Mara echoed him. An expression identical to the one on Luke’s face met his, “Are you saying that Ben and Vader are…are?” she couldn’t finish her words. The idea was laughable.

Insane.

It was too ludicrous to…not be the truth. Things that had seemed so odd, out of character were suddenly making scary sense to her – including the obsessive manner in which Sidious had pursued actual evidence of Obi-Wan’s death – down to the desperate hunt for his light saber, as though merely having that weapon would be the proof he needed that the Jedi was gone.

“You have to be mistaken, Han. My father and Ben?” Luke’s eyes met his, begging him to retract his words.

“It’s just an expression,” he replied, not liking the way Leia was looking at him. He couldn’t quite see why they were all making such a big deal of his words – he’d said even more scandalous things before.

“Han, that joke was in bad taste,” Leia sternly rebuked him. She did not like the look that entered Mara’s eyes as the shock faded away. Those green eyes had become almost cold and calculating as they processed Han’s words and his own knowledge of the Old Republic. She, like Leia, knew that Han knew more than he was saying. The last thing she needed was for her sister-in-law to figure out what Luke had not.

He shrugged, “Sorry, sweetheart.”

"Yeah, you’re going to be even sorrier when I’m through with you,” she vowed, knowing that her husband wasn’t really that apologetic.

***

Anakin burst onto the scene and slammed half of his Force weight into Jacen, watching as the boy stumbled back. Obi-Wan breathed a sigh of relief as the attack abruptly ended. “You know, I would never have thought about Tatooine,” he spoke almost conversationally, head tilted as he looked at the boy on the ground. His arms crossed his chest and he smiled ruefully. “I really should learn from the past. After all, that’s where my son was hidden for almost twenty years. And considering how much I loathe this planet, it makes perfect sense that my Obi-Wan would’ve been hidden here. Sidious, how many times do you have to be killed before you stay dead?”

“Ana…Anakin?” he stammered, unwilling to believe his eyes. It couldn’t be him – not here. Not now before he was ready to challenge him and reclaim all that had been taken from him by this man and his rotten family.

“Oh, never mind. I’m not really interested in listening to you blather on again.”

And with no further words, he dove straight into his grandson’s mind, heading towards the darkness that was Sidious.

“You know, Obi-Wan, you could’ve changed that Sith lightening into something else and used it against him.”

“I could’ve, Master,” he replied, acknowledging his presence.

“Then why didn’t you?”

“That would’ve hurt Jacen – and what good would it ultimately have done? Sidious needs to be stopped and really destroyed, not merely defeated,” Obi-Wan answered, watching the still body of the boy who had dropped to the ground when Anakin had jumped into him. Concern over Jacen was written on his face. For no matter what the boy had done, he was merely a pawn in Sidious’ game, - and he’d become someone that the Jedi Master cared for. “What are you doing here?”

“After the way you basically spelled out _I am here_ in the sands of Tatooine, there was some question on whether or not we should take a stand in this. The Jedi Council finally decided upon the correct course of action to take and asked me to make sure that nothing too extreme occurred because of this…misadventure of yours,” Qui-Gon dryly answered, arms folded across his chest.

“And they really sent you?” he skeptically asked, finally looking over at him. His green blue eyes alive with humor.

“I’ve become quite a model Jedi,” he said, sounding offended by Obi-Wan’s tone of voice and the amusement in his eyes.

“Yeah, well I have a few things to say about the model Jedi behavior,” Anakin’s voice announced his return. “Starting with the ridiculous rule about non-interference on down to that stupid, Sith begotten Code that should never have been resurrected. But first, I have an order to fulfill. One which I look forward to very much.”

He jerked a finger, subtly tugging with the Force, and Obi-Wan found himself locked into a tight embrace. They stared at each other for a moment, just breathing in each other’s scent again. “I missed you,” Anakin said before fastening his mouth to Obi-Wan’s, giving him the biggest and sloppiest, happiest kiss. Teeth clacked together as Obi-Wan gasped, in shocked delight, meeting the questing tongue eagerly.

He was home again.

“Anakin was right?” Jacen squeaked as he stared at them, wide eyed.

“I usually am,” he replied, slowly pulling back. “I was right about what?”

Obi-Wan, though he was flushed, managed to say calmly, “He means his brother. The bet,” he prodded him when Anakin just stared blankly at him.

“Oh, yes. _That_ ,” Anakin nodded, a wolfish smile on his face. Turning to face Jacen, the humor left it completely. “Yes, he was completely correct – and if you tell Luke before we are ready for him to know, what I did to Sidious will be something you _pray_ for, got it?” Of course, as much as he didn’t want his son to know, with the impressions he was receiving, keeping them a secret would be nigh on impossible.

Jacen paled. Images flashed through his mind of the battle that had been fought between the two – and then focused on the lengths that his grandfather had gone through to completely remove Sidious from existence – including any seemingly insignificant detail. “Yes, sir.”

Anakin’s lips curled up into a smile.

Or something that resembled one. “Jacen, if you think for one moment that I do not know everything about you and your actions, you would do well to think again. If not for Obi-Wan’s message to me that you weren’t entirely yourself, I would’ve killed you outright. And do not think for one moment that I am going to fade into the background quietly – I will not.”

“You…You won’t?”

Anakin’s look was cutting, even if his voice remained calm and collected. “After the hell I went through – _after the hell Obi-Wan went through_ – because of my fall, if you think that I will allow you to resurrect that cursed group of Force sensitives, you have another thought coming. I am through with pretending to be something I am not. The lessons of the past cannot be learned if there is no one there who can teach it.”

“What do you mean?” Qui-Gon sharply asked, not sure he liked where this was going.

The look he shot him was almost pitying.

Almost. “I mean that we are not going to keep ourselves away from the New Jedi Order any longer. We are going to help. We are going to get involved. And anyone who does not agree can become energy once again.” His voice was unyielding and firm, full of conviction.

Anakin knew – as he almost always did now that he was actually listening to the Force – the right course of action. And he was as firm as stone when his course was set. “As for you, Jacen, you will remand yourself into my custody – and be thankful that I am not turning you over to your mother.”

Jacen gulped, terrified at the mention of his mother. His grandfather was scary enough. But his mother had faced terrible odds – and had overcome each and every one of them. She was no shirking flower, no damsel in distress.

She may have been Leia Organa Skywalker Solo but she had earned her merits through her own actions and not someone else’s. What she had achieved, she had done through her own hard work. Time and time again she had worked her ass off to save others. She had given much to help those in need, asking for nothing in return – and she would give hell to anyone who thought differently.

“Yes, sir,” he whispered.

“You cannot do this, Anakin. It isn’t right.”

Anakin’s look was shuttered as he stared at the Master Jedi, “Not right?” he questioned. “Who are you to say that my words are not right? It is the Force’s true will that this be done – I am merely seeing that it will be so.”

“Obi-Wan, talk some sense into the boy. Tell him that he is using the Force as an excuse to push his own agenda.”

“If there is one thing I know about Anakin, it is this – he clearly hears what we do not. If he says that the Force wants us to be participants in the lives of the New Jedi, then that is what the Force wants. We are servants of the Force, we should not deny its Chosen One,” he cynically added, knowing from Qui-Gon’s flinch that the jab had hit home. It would be awkward for Qui-Gon to deny the words spoken for he had named Anakin the Chosen One.

Anakin smiled triumphantly, knowing that this was all he needed.

This, at last, was Obi-Wan taking a stand against the Order and the Council. This was different from when they truly committed to each other. Obi-Wan would be at his side, helping him fight this battle against those who thought their time was done. Nothing could be better than that – than knowing that Skywalker and Kenobi stood side by side once more. Together they would face the odds – and triumph.

Taking a moment to ravish those lips he’d missed, he reluctantly released his Master to stand on his own, a goofy smile forming on his face when Obi-Wan held out his hand shyly. Not willing to lose this total confirmation of their unity, he grasped it tightly in his own, squeezing it reassuringly. “We’ll be back,” he warned Jacen. “You better call your parents – and return to Jaina that which you have taken from her. I **_will_** know if you have not.”

Then they were gone.

End, series

_I leave it to you to decide if Luke actually knows the truth by this point or not. I know in the earlier parts, he doesn't but did his father's desperation to get Obi-Wan back lead him to the truth? Its anyone's guess._


End file.
